It has been 5 years and I still struggle with coming out

Hey LailaForbidden,

I think I understand what you are going through. I haven't been Out as long as you have, but I'm to the point that I have told all of the people who are important to me and I don't really care who else knows. But, you're definitely right. Coming Out in any 'formal' or even 'semi-formal' way, such as having to say the words over and over again is both tiring and often disheartening. Know what I mean?

I've found the best way is simply to allow people to assume what they want, but, if the subject comes up in conversation in any slightly-related manner, I don't mind making a comment that 'assumes' that they already 'knew'. So for example, if someone is talking about their spouse or bf/gf, you could simply make a comment along the lines of "you know, that's pretty good! In fact, just the other day, my girlfriend made a comment that..." or even something more in-your-face like "that's a good story. I have one. I was at the store the other day and this really cute woman was hitting on me. I was like, 'that's so flattering, but I already have a girlfriend.'" Another way is to wear pride jewelry or clothing. If someone suddenly realizes that you're gay and asks about it, you can just say "yeah, of course, you didn't know?"

Basically, you're 'normalizing' your sexual orientation in conversation without having to constantly Come Out to people...

I don't know if that helps..

 

Tbh I have no idea, but it seems like you're getting on the right track! I felt compelled to reply just cuz I can relate to the whole being awkward coming out thing so yea.

I think it's a miracle that I managed to come out to friends, really. If I remember, it took a lot of guts and not much thought.