Okay, now that I've finally made the realization that I'm a bigender autosexual, I'm having trouble typing the words to my boyfriend. I've mentioned I've been with girls in the past and that I may want us to have a polyamourous relationship with one and him in the future. He was into that, though he isn't one of those guys with a girl on girl action fetish. I told him I thought I was a biromantic autosexual a few weeks ago. He is kind of jealous of the girls, but he was cool with us all being friends. And he was cracking jokes about my being autosexual, like, "You can't have a baby by playing with yourself". And, "That's fine if we don't have sex. As long as you let me play from time to time by myself in the bathroom", lol! But, with discovering I'm bigender, I've now dropped the title of biromantic, because I'm both a bisexual man and gay woman. So only one side is bi minded. Anyway, we used to talk about my fantasies of watching him with another guy, and using a strap on on him. And he seemed really into the idea. Then, he backpedaled. Then, he brought it up again when we were horny. So I don't know if he was just okay with it, because I was a female wanting to watch or wanting to do him from behind, just because he knows it would get me off, or if he would be okay with me being bigender and doing it, too, since he does seem, at least, bicurious to me. Sometimes, he cracks jokes, too, like if our child was gay, he'd kill them. Or it's not something beyond anyone's control if our child is gay. It's in his hands for his son to be a real man like him. He's also Muslim, though not practicing, so that makes it even harder to take a joke. And, even though I know it is one, even harder to come out to him, too. I need to be flown down to another country to start a new life, and worst case scenario, I come out as bigender and he changes his mind. But I really feel I need to be honest with him. Or should I wait until after I've introduced him to anal sex?
Am I really that much of a freak that no one can relate to me? Is that why so many people ignore me? Just seems like others on here get many more reponses than I do. Even on my personal Facebook, it seems as though I don't exist...
I can relate. My girlfriend didn't know I was bisexual until she confronted me about it when I made side comments about a threesome.
I dunno, to me someone who would joke about killing their kid if they were gay is a massive red flag, regardless of their reasons. I wouldn't feel comfortable coming out to someone like that, not to mention dating them (although that's not an issue anymore lol). I have read some of your other posts, and tbh when I thought I was straight I thought the idea of pegging a guy was kinda hot, but now not so much now that I know I'm a lesbian. To me you do kinda sound more like a lesbian, but if bigender feels right and is right that is for you to decided. I don't know too much about being bigender, and so I'm not sure how he would react to it or what kind of advice to give. How does he react to people being gay or lesbian or trans? And if what if he never warms up to anal sex or using a strap on? Or he tries it and decides that he really doesn't like it? He could be totally into it, but it's hard to tell right now.
Good to know that I'm not the only one in this kind of situation Thanks for your reply! She accepts you now? ---------- Post added 26th Apr 2017 at 03:45 PM ---------- Yeah, I thought that was kind of an insensitive thing for him to say, especially since he still thought I was bi when he said it. But, in a way, I think he was making fun of himself and his Muslim culture. I don't know. I fell for him, because of his open mindedness and generosity, and that he still makes the effort to talk to me everyday, even though he knows he's not going to get naked pics and we're not going to cyber. And, of course, he wants children like me. That's the thing... I am a lesbian, AND a bisexual man. That's kind of the tricky part. If I were bigender and straight, he would probably feel more comfortable with, at least, the female in me and I assume we'd cohabitate better that way. But, then, like I said, there seems this bicurious side to him. And I'm open minded enough that, if he doesn't like me pegging him, he can be the top in the relationship and do me from behind. Him fingering me and eating me out would also pacify the lesbian side, since I'm not using it to get off, since I can't, anyway, being autosexual. And we could have a female friend we share that I could use a strap on on from the front to pacify the male in me that likes girls, and also pacify his need for straight sex. But, anyway, I came out to him today... I said I had something to tell him. Then, I told him nevermind. Then, that usually I'm bold and brutally honest, but this was hard to get out, as I hadn't even told my parents. Then, he said I was scaring him, and to tell him right now. So I explained all the little signs I'd experienced over the years but never noticed before. Then, he didn't understand what I was trying to say, and so I just said, "I'm bigender". He said, "Okay". Then, I said, "Do you accept me? I mean, I'm still the same person". And he said, "We'll talk about it tomorrow. I'm going to bed". Now, I have anxiety over it! I feel like I shouldn't have said anything.
Yeah, she does accept my orientation, she wasn't angry or anything when she did find out. But I didn't tell her for the longest time.
And... He accepted me But, since he likes to joke around, of course, he had to say, "A lesbian and a man. Not great for me :/", and "But I want a girly girl all the time" first, lol! Since I'm likely autistic, I took it seriously in the beginning, too
