AHHH Why is this so hard?!?!?!?!?!?

I dunno why it is so hard, its something that shouldnt be an issue, but society thinks it is, and therefore its such a big thing in our heads.

Keep trying and hopefully you will succeed next time.

 

It is really hard...it's the hardest thing Ive done, but don't be so hard on yourself. Its great that you have reached the point where you want to come out and that is a very big step forward. One suggestion I have is not to come out to everyone in one go like at the games night, but tell one person first...I found that the first time I told someone it was really hard, but since then it gets easier. Ive now told five friends and each time was a little easier. Do it at your own pace and if you plan to do it and then don't, don't beat yourself up about it. You will do it when you do it... and it will be fine.

Take care.

 

No need to get angry with yourself. A few near-coming-out experiences are pretty normal.
I think that after I made the decision, I tried to tell my friends 4 or 5 times, but always stopping before I said it (I always got closer and closer, though). And these were my friends I normally tell everything to without the slightest inhibition.

Somehow a perfect scenario always seemed to become much more daunting when faced with a live audience.

Don't worry and just try again next time! A week or two won't make a difference.

 

Malachite,

I can tell that you want to share who you are with someone, but at the present time you do not seem to know how to do it or you may be uncertain about what would be the best way of doing it. I felt the same way. I have known that I was gay since the age of fifteen but I did not know the worlds that would help me express this to the people in my life. The biggest thing that I can offer and I have noticed that it was mention by other EC members is to be patient with yourself. What you are experiencing is not easy and it does take time. Keep with it for I know that things will work out.

Respectfully,
careandrespect

 

In five people, one of them will most likely dislike it, but do you want friends like that? You're worth more than buddies who can't stand you.

And remind them, and yourself, in case they freak out, which hapenned to a couple of my friends, that you were gay before they knew about it... You've were gay at the last games night, you're gay now, and you'll be gay at the next one. There's no reason for there's opinions to change, because you are exactly the same person you were before. You're not gay because they know about, you've been gay since they knew you. And they still wanted to know you. They wanted to know a gay.

People have thought and opinions which they don't know they have. Present it to them like that and if they value you at all, they'll realise that it's true.

Good luck, xXx

 

There's nothing wrong with you, and I'm sure everyone on here has felt the same way. I know I had so many times where I desperately wanted to say it, but couldn't make the words come out of my mouth. After you say it once, though, it gets so much easier. It's hard, but try and be patient. It's a scary thing to do!!!

 

Its the same with me! I want to tell people but I just cant do it. I have decided its just not the right time yet. but i have found that if you tell a person at a time its alot easier to come out. The people who know about my little secret, i have told eachone at a seperate time. It makes it easier.

Good Luck!!!

 

This is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do so dont be too hard on yourself that you werent able to tell your friends straight away. There will be a moment when you are with them when it will happen and then that will be the right time.

 

I agree with what everyone's said about telling one person at a time, that will make it much easier. it's hard cause it (your sexuality) is something you've thought about a lot probably and you've kept to yourself for a long time and had your own thoughts to deal with on it and now you face the prospect of sharing this big part of you with them and dont know how they'll react or what they'll think; so of course it's hard, it is/was for all of us. so just keep calm with yourself and remember that when you do tell them it'll hopefully be at the right time for you, there's no need to rush into it. so good luck! (*hug*)

 

Telling a big group like that can be very intimidating. When I came out to my gaming group, I did it individually. I'd catch up with one of them as we were on our way to our cars, or I'd tag along if one of them was running to 7-Eleven or something. I found it was much easier to come out to them one at a time, even though I knew they'd all be cool with it, than it was to do it with the whole group.

Don't sweat it. Just take your time, and soon it'll be done and over with. Hell, my gaming group and I can joke around in good natured fun now, and suddenly all of my characters are gay now...

 

Patient: "Doctor, it hurts when I hold my arm up like this."
Doctor: "So don't hold your arm up like that."

If you've tried something several times the same way and get no success, try doing something else. Write a note. Change your facebook status. Wear a rainbow bracelet. Constantly hum tunes from musicals. I don't know, but there are severals ways to come out to people, or to have the subject come up.

It could be that you're still not comfortable enough with the whole concept. Is there a need to come out to these people?

 

aww man dont worry when your truelly comfortable with the situation it will come

thing is your just worried of thier reaction thats why you dont say anything when you get to the point of comfort where you dont care of the reaction and just have to say it will come but if you cant tell them there are other ways of letting them know

take caer and dont beat yourself up on these things x

 

You didn't listen... Two people is still more than one person.

Find an opportunity with just one member of your gaming group. As a question, when do you have your game sessions? My group (was, since we hardly ever actually game anymore) a Friday night group. The reason I ask is because depending upon when your sessions are, you may or may not have certain opportunities to get individual members of your group alone to talk to them. If it's a Friday night after work session, tag along with someone if they're going to grab some food or something at 7-Eleven. If it's an all-day Saturday session, pull one of your friends aside and talk to them privately as everyone's gathering. If you gather at an offsite location to play (like at a game shop), grab a ride with one of the group members and tell them on the car ride.

Or alternatively, try this: Make a gay character. Before I came out, I made a gay character, and trust me, my friends all noticed how well I played the character and how natural it seemed. Make a gay character and when someone remarks on it, there's your golden opportunity.


You also mentioned that you're a brutally honest guy and you don't care what people think about you. But obviously there's a certain degree of untruth to that, which is quite alright. Consider this, though. Being a gamer, I'm sure you know just how much gamers joke around during sessions. After you come out, you'll probably be able to joke around and it'll help establish what the boundaries for jokes actually are. It's all good.

(*hug*) You can do it. And yeah, I know it takes a bit of doing, what with the butterflies in the stomach and fear and all that. Trust me, it's worth it.

 

You might want to try telling them in another format, electronically maybe, some people when they first come out to friends find it easier that way.

Best of luck.