I'm having some confidence issues, and was wondering if anyone can give any advice on this kind of thing... I've had poor self-image and confidence issues for years (I'm still significantly overweight, but am dealing with that) - and I've reached the point where I just don't believe anyone when they give me a compliment - recently I've been complimented on my appearance, on my smile and I just don't know how to react... Can anyone give any advice on how to deal with these confidence problems?
Unfortunately, we’ve become preprogrammed little robots. We are taught bullsh#t from an early age by TV, movies, and all that. This is right that is wrong. This is attractive that is not. I guess what I’m trying to say is we put labels on things, we give it limits. I used to be in the same boat as you. I hated myself to the point I’d make myself sick. What changed? I got angry! I hated that I hated myself. I learned the power of not caring what people think. It is not something that is easy to do, but it works. When someone pays you a compliment I know it might seem like a “trap” You think they’re being sarcastic or think they pity you. But 95% of the time people don’t bother to give compliments unless they mean them. Here is something a friend once told me: Everyday think about yourself and find something you like about yourself, even if it seems trivial. (*hug*)
I have the exact same thing X( unfortunately, I haven't found a way to fix it. I just cope with it. but I'm sure that isn't the proper way. I have yet to know what is the right way though X( anyway, I hope your self image improves (*hug*)
I feel exactly the same way, I have a hell of a lot of trouble accepting compliments I'm given because I find it hard to believe that someone would see me so differently to the way I see myself, but I'm working on it. It's hard to explain, but when someone compliments me I try to not automatically reject it, I try to think it through and wonder what it is that makes them think that.
I have been throught this a lot. I started to regain confidence by answering compliments with "Thank you" and a smile.
Eleanor, that's pretty much the approach I use. I used to have a ton of problems when I was a lot younger with other kids bullying me, and using things that sounded complientary to "lure" me into some kind of verbal trap.... that's certainly a factor now... I just don't trust people to not try to trap me.
Hi there! If someone pays a compliment, as Eleanor mentioned, say thank you and smile. But try to do more than that. For example, when someone pays me a compliment, I'll just try taking it all in. Maybe try doing the same. If someone says to you 'hey you look nice' or you have a 'great sense of humor' repeat that to yourself a couple of times, so that it becomes 'real' to you. I'm sure that you feel pretty good when someone pays a compliment to you. When you repeat that compliment again to yourself. I'm sure will still have some of that good feeling. Try to take note of the things that people give you a compliment about and try using that to boost your self-image and self-confidence. I hope this helps a bit!
We really don't. I still can't look anyone in the face because I feel like they're judging or going to do something nasty. (and I got a lot of that when I was younger) I'm in the same boat as you, OP. There are days when I convince myself not to care, and then there are others that aren't. When it comes to compliments...I have a hard time taking them too, because I've always been told by my peers in the past that I am pretty much worthless because of my weight. I agree with what someone said earlier: try every day to find something good about yourself, no matter what it is. I've been trying something similar and it does help a little bit. (*hug*)
I know exactly how this is. I've been judged so much in my life that I can hardly believe that compliments are genuine anymore. It's just hard to see yourself the way other people see you. When these people make positive comments towards you, I'm sure they honestly believe them. Just remember that. Don't fool yourself into thinking that they have any ulterior motives.
It just sounds like you need a good boyfriend to make it all go away. You sound like a really nice guy too... Makes me get a little pain in my heart when I can't help nice people be happy. I wish I could say "you'll get the man you deserve" but sometimes life's not that fair. Be optimistic. Embrace yourself. Be shallow, and pompous. If you go around and act like you're really great, others will start to believe it too... Obviously that's not true, that's a trick. Actually what it gives you is confidence, which is all you need. Truth is, most lonely people just don't wanna be alone. It's so rare that you'll ask someone out and they'll say no. I'd say try to make the best of what you've got, and if you've got guts you'll get glory... It's not very optimistic and if you've got confidence issues it won't be as easy as me just saying it, but if you can tap into that mindset, it will work, i guaruntee it. It worked for me. I'm fat, but I embrace it. When people call me fat, I love it, because it's a chance for me to make someone look stupid. Mr X: Oi fatty Me:I beg your pardon Mr X:I said, oi fatty Me:Oh goodness me, I am overweight. Oh no, hang on. That's not a very conducive point and it wasn't really a sentance now, was it? Mr X:What? Me:And to be fair, I'd much rather be fat than a fucking MORON like yourself. I can taste the pies as I eat them, being a thick cunt doesn't feel good at any point. Mr X:What? Me:JUST FUCK OFF Mr X:Right... Just love yourself. And if you don't love yourself, pretend. If nothing else, it's a nice hobby. And tbh, from the sound of you baby, I'd go out with you... Good luck xXx
