Are there people that it's just vain to come out to, because they will never understand, and it will hurt them? Is it worth it to come out to grandparents who have their minds stuck in another time and will still love you but think of you like you have a terrible illness for being gay? What if my grandma asks me about boys but I have a girlfriend? Should I just tell her a "white lie"? I know she won't get mad at me, she'll feel very sad about it though and maybe she will never ask me about love again. And to my dad, I'd like to talk about my girlfriend, but he will be sad, too. I've tried in the past, he thought he hadn't been a good father, but gladly (or not) he eventually dismissed it a phase and neither of us mentioned my sexuality again. I just want to share my feelings with him and get rid of the racing heartbeat whenever I'm saying a little lie, but maybe I should just get used to it. It's useless and selfish, he'll never understand, and I'll just cause him pain. After all, he doesn't need to know everything, does he?
This might not be as final of an answer as you're looking for, but I think it really depends on what you're willing to deal with, what you want from coming out, and how much you think coming out will sour your relationships (and if you want to nurture these relationships even though coming out has made things a bit complicated). If you value truth and think it will be ultimately healthier for yourself to be open to them, then it might be best to move forward with it just to have it out there. You do sound bothered by the lies. The road might be bumpy from then on but depending on the reaction, you might be able to turn your family's opinions around. Of course, it's not your duty as an LBGT+ person to do so. It sounds like lying about this makes you uncomfortable, and if you can handle the outdated opinions and misplaced guilt from your family, it might be a good idea to try to come out anyways. This all depends on your comfort level and what you feel would be best. On the other hand, you should consider negative consequences coming out could cause. I can kind of relate. I've decided not to come out to my aunt's family or to my step-grandmother about my gender identity, when I do feel ready to come out at all. Since my aunt and her family are super religious and don't seem receptive to gender exploration, and I don't really need them to know, I will probably never tell them. My stepmom's mom is nearing her 60s and I don't want to test her very feminine interpretation of me and her binary view of the world in general, even though she's a sort of "live how you like because you only have one life" person. These are people I've decided to probably never come out to based on how I will affect them and how they will affect me. I love them, but don't want to deal with complications that might arise. That's just me, though, and how I've chosen to move forward. So I guess I wouldn't say there are people you should "never" come out to, but people you should probably put a considerable amount of thought into coming out to before you do it. Decide what coming out could give you, how it could hurt you, and what you want.
Be very careful in your professional life, especially depending on the local antidiscrimination laws and company policies. I wouldn't say never, but be very careful
