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How long did you stay in the closet?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by gaylor, Apr 27, 2017.

  1. gaylor

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    Its been 4 months now since the first realization that I was gay. I'm slowly getting the courage to come out, I have wanted to for a while now and the urge is getting stronger as the days go by. Just curious as to how long others stayed in the closet?
     
  2. Creativemind

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    I don't think I was ever in the closet in all honesty.

    I was an early bloomer when it came to sexuality acceptance.
     
  3. PrinceVegeta

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    20 years. and omg I could of totally stepped out sooner. That's my own fault :/
     
  4. Quantumreality

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    25 years (for my career).
     
  5. Dryad

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    I didn't. At first I told some people I trusted that I was questioning, and as I came to terms with my sexuality, I came out to more and more people.
     
  6. Lacayda

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    2 1/2 years
     
  7. Chronos

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    2 years went bi (puns) where I denied it, 1 year of confusion and almost a year of acceptance in the closet, its almost been a month since I came out :grin:
     
  8. HerRainbow

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    About 4 years! No doubt I would have felt much better if I came out sooner. But I think I am emotionally ready to deal with people's reactions to it now if that makes sense :slight_smile:
     
  9. lonewolf79

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    I was in the closet from about 15/16 when I realised I was gay till I was 25 when I came out... that's 12 years ago. But I have since decided to go back in the closet for various reasons.
     
  10. kablam999

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    5-6 years between me realising I wasn't straight to me telling someone
     
  11. YermanTom

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    About 30 years between realizing I was gay and coming out to my wife and another 5 years before I came out to my family and a little later to my friends!

    So I came out quickly in the end...:badgrin:
     
  12. Patrick7269

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    I was aware of being closeted from about age 5 until 12, and I was accidentally outed to my family then. I didn't come out by choice until I was 22.

    Patrick
     
  13. Chloe

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    Pretty much as soon as it occurred to me what I was (which at the time was a lesbian). This was during my first year of college. I thought it was great, especially since it explained some things I'd been doing/thinking. I started telling a few friends, and then my mother read my mail. Not everyone thought it was as great as I thought, but I kept on.
     
    #13 Chloe, Apr 30, 2017
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  14. quebec

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    gaylor....Please understand that I was a child of the 1950's. I didn't know what else I could do but just follow along with what society said I should do. I do so hope that no one ever has to do that again.....I was in the closet for 55 long, horrible years. I have been free now for 2 years & 4 months!....David (!)
     
  15. FlightyBrannigan

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    My first realization(questioning) was about 8 years ago but due to my upbringing, I never really thought about it. It has always been there I just suppressed it because I didn't feel as if I had the right to think for myself. My parents always told me to take everything to "god" and let him deal with it. After I realized it was all BS, I finally started being more open with myself. My parents don't know and probably won't know until I move out, because they would disown me. I feel bad about it because it feels like I'm hiding something from them, but it's for my safety.
     
    #15 FlightyBrannigan, Apr 30, 2017
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  16. Worker Bee

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    I never intended to leave it until I found the one, however after a messy break up I was forced to come out. It was about 15 years however I now need to come out again
     
  17. analogue

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    Maybe 1-2 months. As soon as I realized I was questioning, I wanted to get to a point where I was comfortable enough with the idea of being bi. I ended up telling a friend who I trusted, and within 4 months of that I was out to all (except my parents).
     
  18. Cortana

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    I started questioning about 4 years ago. During the past year I started telling a few very good friends.
    But there is no time you have to wait or something like that. I think you should come out as soon as you feel comfortable with the thought. If you want to tell someone go for it, it's your choice when you're ready
    Big hug (*hug*)
     
  19. KBrandonSB

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    I believe it was about a year or two, I don't really remember when all that well I just know it wasn't long after realising I was Gay and I was 12 at the time.
     
  20. BostonStranger

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    I started to come out as bisexual to close friends only a few months after I came out to myself. That was when I was 17. I came out to more and more people as I started to feel more comfortable/mustered the courage to do it. I didn't come out to everyone, family included, until I was 21. It was during the Sochi Winter Olympics in Russia. I despised Russia's anti-LGBT agenda and felt that it was the right time to let the whole world know that was bisexual. I made a Facebook post so that I was certain that everyone would know and then I came out to my parents face-to-face. I got a ton of support from friends and relatives, so the whole thing was an amazing experience for me.

    I only recently came out to myself as genderfluid and a handful of close friends. Genderfluidity is still pretty confusing to me, so right now I'm still exploring my gender identity. When I know more about myself, I might think about coming out to more people. I've been through this process before, so I know that it's perfectly fine to take all the time that I need. Coming out isn't a race to the finish :slight_smile: