After coming out as a lesbian fully and mutually breaking up with my long term boyfriend, I feel more heartbroken then ever. Even though I'm only physically attracted to women, I'm aching to be back with him. It makes no sense to me... I love him so much and we are best friends but I never felt this much of a need to be with him when we were together. It's freaking me out because now I'm second guessing myself. He is the only man that I ever truly felt this emotionally connected to. He fully accepts me for who I am but I can't help but feel that my heart has been ripped out. Shouldn't I be happy to finally be free to be who I am? Is this a normal feeling when coming out after a long committed relationship? Deep down I know us ending things was the right thing to do, but I'm so depressed now...I really need sorry and advice please. I feel alone. I know deep in my heart that I've always been a lesbian but I've become so emotionally invested in this man.
I'm sorry you're going through this; I know it must be a disorienting experience. Is it possible that you're reacting to a significant amount of change in a short span of time? I think it would be only natural that you want emotional closeness and intimacy simply because you do, and not because of any particular sexual reason. It sounds like you're going through a lot, and you just want support from the person you were closest to - your ex boyfriend. In my opinion you may need time to adjust, and I would simply be with people and lean on them for support. As you get your bearings I think you'll further understand your feelings and emerging sexuality. Your feelings of need for your ex are completely understandable and I wouldn't attribute it to any confusion about your sexuality. I think you'll understand more in a bit of time. Patrick
I don't think that these feelings invalidate your identity by any means. Just because he was guy doesn't mean that you didn't care, even if you are a lesbian. Plus, suddenly having romantic attention no longer there after becoming accustomed to it can hurt, no matter the situation of the breakup. I know it hurts right now, but time heals all wounds, even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment. You'll feel a lot more comfortable with yourself when you're in a relationship with someone you know you are attracted to and who loves you the same way. You've gone through a lot lately, so don't be afraid of just stepping back and taking some time for yourself. You deserve to be happy!
It's ok to be sad. You guys had a relationship and now it's gone and you miss it. all perfectly normal. I'm a lesbian too and I'll be happy to be your friend and talk with you until this feeling of pain and sadness goes away
Hey I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal, just because you know deep down the relationship isnt what you want doesnt mean you cant be nervous about its end or miss it. Give it some time things will get better.
