Hey people I am really sorry I'm coming here again, _I feel like my struggles are just so tiny and so stupid but I magnify them... it's not even worth the time, but anyways they still suck and I feel shitty. So I feel bad about myself in general. I feel like I can't be liked and like I am the biggest hypocrite in this world. And it's the perception that I have, and that is the way I've felt for a long time. Which I know it is not entirely true, but I have no reason to feel otherwise, and that is the reason I try to find things to validate my life like relationships or friendships, which then drags me even deeper since I can't seem to find any. So what is the REAL trick in building self esteem and self confidence? I was talking to a friend of mine who is an alcoholic and she's sober for 9 months now (I'm so happy for her!) and she also had self esteem and self confidence issues, and she told me to remind myself daily of the good stuff about myself. Well then I attempt to start a list of those, I feel like it's all lies! I don't feel I have good qualities about myself, besides the general "you're nice, you're outgoing" and all that shit you say that are in the top of your head because when you dig deep, there is nothing else to compliment. I am not going to lie, I don't like asking for help here. I feel that I'm weak [by doing so] and I feel that I can't handle my life. It is my life, I should be able to handle it! I just want to make things right for me. I want to be able to believe that I CAN be all that things I want to be. I want to be able to say "I am gay" and to blow off all that negativity. I want to be able to stand up and make a change. But in reality, all of that it's just bullshit. It's a dream that won't become real.
First of all your struggles are never stupid. If this is the worst you have to experience then so be it, you have the right to complain. It's your life. It's easiest to build your confidence when you surround yourself with people who love and believe in you. It can be especially hard for all of us because, well, we have a quality that not everyone really likes, but there's nothing we can do about it. Take it from someone who has a hell of a lot of confidence to spread around, it's all about your perception. It doesn't matter what other people think about you, as long as you know that you're a good perosn and that you're, basically, awesome. You have to start trusting what your true opinions are. The negativity you feel towards yourself right now is most likely a product of feeling alone or like not enough people tell you what a good person you are. By being able to first accept yourself, then you will exude that confidence and people will notice. It's how I maintain my confidence. I always keep in mind that nobody's opinion truly matters but my own, and as long as I can accept myself others will follow suit. Hope this helps
Some things I do that have boosted my self esteem: Work out at the gym. All the extra muscle will definitely boost you ego. Having self control also really helps. Even when you're feeling down, pushing yourself a little farther always is a plus. Good luck!
