what do you do? i hang out with my friends and pretend we are interested in the same things (girls) but its not true of course. i get back to my room at the end of the night and i always feel alone. how do you meet other guys if you cant go to gay bars/clubs? i think my floor-mates suspect me, which doesnt bother me too much anymore, but i cant bring myself to tell them that i'm gay without it sounding like a joke. i'm a little bit of a mess, not feeling terribly depressed right now because i know i have friends that care, but i am pretty lonely, and even my friends that know--no matter how much they try--they can't fully understand how i feel.
Paco Beleive me when I say this, there's more places to meet guys than gay bars. There is no-one I've randomly met on a night out who I would call a friend. All my gay friends are people I've met through work, friends-of-friends etc. I think many of us here have been through the "pretending we're interested in the same things" - and sometimes, I find it's still necessary - I'm not fully out at work - although a few of the gay guys know about me, none of my immediate team do. I guess you're at college in some kind of dorm - is there a GLBT society where you might be able to meet other people? Tom
I've met most of my friends over something like mysapce. They aren't random hook-ups as they live near by and i have at least some friends that know them. But right now I'm...involved(?) with someone from a bus journey away into the text town. We're going to the cinema next week. He's really nice.
Is there a GSA in your school? Get involved with that. Look for gay youth groups in your area. You live in San Diego, that should be fairly easy to do.
that's exactly how i feel every day ... my bf who dumped me thinks making gay friends and opening up is easy
I met my first gay friends through a support group. There should be something near where you are. If you do feel ready to tell your floor mates then maybe do it one at a time, a good place to start maybe the person you the trust the most.
Hi there! One thing you could do is join a LGBT group at your school (as Becky mentioned above) or in the city. Try finding a couple of support/social groups and try joining them for their social events. A lot of support/social groups have coffee houses, movie nights, and other get togethers. Being among other gay guys could help you in feeling better as you end pretending someone that you are not and you would have someone to whom you can relate to and perhaps someone who could understand you better. Sometimes not being able to come out is a sign of not being ready to come out, which is totally okay. Come out to your floor-mates when you feel ready and comfortable with them knowing. Why do you think that coming out to them would sound like a joke? Maybe just try coming out to them the way you have come out to your other friends. Alternatively, maybe try writing a short letter. Write one or two sentences and your coming out to your floor-mates would be complete. Give it a thought. I hope this helps a bit!
The other alternative is not to bother coming out to your flat mates - just go about living your own life. I actually met some new 'gay frirends' by putting an ad online. I was completely open and honest about what I was looking for - i.e. just friends - and I got several very good responses. One remains a good friend 2 years later. My bf and I am going to see him this Friday. When I'm lonely though, I log into EC! Helping other people always makes me feel better.
