Okay, so I have numerous problems with coming out to my friends and family. My mother has told me before that if I was lesbian that she would still love me and support me no matter what, but it really doesn't seem that way at all. I haven't told her straight and upfront that "Hey, I'm bisexual," but I've discussed LGBT things with her, and whenever I do, she seems to get uncomfortable and try to change the topic. Especially when I talk about myself being queer. I tried to give her a hint one day after walking out of a Kroger where we had a cute cashier; a female. So I turned to my mom and said, "She was cute." My mom agreed. I then told her, "No, she's really cute, like..." And all I got from that was a sigh and, "You're not turning lesbian, are you?" The first time that I said I wanted super short hair, she had the exact same reaction. As for my dad, I'm not as close with him. I don't know exactly how he feels about the matter but when I mentioned that one of my friends was bisexual, he said, "She's 13? That's too young to know." So based on all of this, I have no idea what to do. I know that my parents would never disown me for it, but I have a feeling that they would become very distant. As for the rest of my family... they tend to see LGBT people as strange, unfamiliar, different. None of them are completely against it, but none of them fully support it either. I do have some pretty religious folks in there- my sister is a devout catholic and my grandmother goes to church every Sunday. I have no idea how either of them would feel. My aunt has a lesbian step-daughter, and even she seems to have a bit of a problem with it. Family aside, I wouldn't mind being out at school except for one thing- my homophobic/biphobic friends. My ex-boyfriend was 110% against me being anything other than fully straight, and we fought about my orientation on numerous occasions. I'm getting a pixie cut on Saturday, and he's already exclaimed to our entire class that, "Oh my god, GUYS! SHE'S GONNA LOOK LIKE A F**KING LESBIAN!" When he even found out from one of my friends that I was cutting my hair, he made no effort to conceal how disgusted with the idea he was. I would normally not mind people calling me out like this- my mother already warned me that I'd get a lot of comments similar to that- but it hurts more to know that someone that you used to love hates you than finding out that a random stranger who you've never talked to does, I guess. I have a feeling that I'll get comments anyway for my short hair, but the comments from my ex will hurt me the most. And if he found out that I was bi, then it would just be worse. I feel I have no one else that I could talk to. I really don't want to talk to a counselor at school, because they might be against LGBT and that would go nowhere.. Part of me wants to come out, and the only person who knows has been pushing me to for a while now. I just don't know what I should do now...
