Lately I have felt that I have been very cold towards human beings. I feel as if I don't know you personally, I don't care what happens to you. I don't know if this is a cause of being gay and generally rejected by society or if it's just a phase. But, whatever it is I think it is concerning my mother. She keeps asking me what happened to me because I used to be such a happy and nice kid and that I've became mean inconsiderate of others. To me it feels as if I am void of basic emotions to everyone. Can someone explain to me why I am like this?
I realise this isn't necessarily very reassuring, but if you're 16 there's a very good chance it is just a phase. Moodiness is not uncommon among teenagers (what's that, Captain Obvious?), and a lot of people, looking back, don't really like who they were at that age. As you say, being gay and the sense of anomie/social disconnect associated with that probably doesn't help. I imagine the situation with your mum (as I understand it, reading your more recent posts) might be causing a bit of a strain there. Can you give a bit more detail? What's the situation like at school?
My situation at school is kind of crappy... my greatest friend ever is graduating and going off to college while I am stuck in my extremely conservative school. I am lonely and have become bitter and angry towards all of the couples in my school. I had even contemplated suicide which led to this feeling of voidness and not caring for anyone... On top of that I am working my ass off at school so I can go to a giant university like michigan state.
If you are feeling depressed and have thought of suicide you need to talk to someone. Try talking to a school councilor or talk to your parents about getting some therapy. Talking to someone neutral usually helps.
Hi there! I would encourage you to see a counselor at school or see a doctor who could also help you. Why did you contemplate suicide? It seems that you are dealing with quite a few things, and although I'm not an expert in this, I would tend to think that all of them together can lead to one, feeling overwhelmed and two, being depressed. Remember that our problems are temporary and can be overcome. It's always better to talk about them. What ever is bothering you let it all out. Talk to someone. Even though your best friend is moving away, try to stay in contact with him. Is there a chance that you guys could still see each other?
That does sound crappy. I'd definitely recommend seeing someone about how you feel if you've been thinking about suicide, though it sounds like maybe your school isn't too well fixed for those facilities. You could talk to your mum about feeling depressed, maybe? She seems pretty concerned for your welfare, even if she is finding hard to accept that you're gay. As boring as it is, it's probably for the best that you're working so hard now. I imagine a big university like that would be a much more accepting place.
This is probably largely due to hormones running amok. Other symptoms that would lead to depression and the kind of state of mind you are in are changes in season (that's just happened) and tiredness and stress (like that related to your working your ass off). It is unfortunate that all three things are enforced by law on teenagers at the same time and probably explains the high-level of suicide. You need to speak to a counsellor or a doctor about this. You also need to do something that will use up your physical energy in order to calm things down. Don't give in to this.
I have talked to my mom many times about counseling. She has asked if I want it and I told her yes in hopes that they will explain to her that it is ok if I come out to people. She told me she would and then that was that. My family doesn't have a lot money right now so I don't want to ask her again. But I have told her I want it and nothing happens after that...
Im sorry bud i know the feeling but suicide isnt the answer. I know this probably dont help but i will still be there and i know that your angry because you dont have anyone to date but someone will come i promise you and maybe that person is already there right under your nose (and no i dont mean me) maybe someone you already like is actually gay and feeling the same exact way. I dont think you should care that your mom dont want you to come out totally and i really dont think people at school will care i think that once you come out and they put a face to gay people it will make some of them more accepting. I hope this helped and remember you can always talk to me at school or online.
I can relate to the sense of detachment but with me it kinda spread into my relationship with my family too. I felt, and still feel, devoid of emotion at times. I'm not sure what the best solution is but I know that counselling is helping me right now - I hope that it can be sorted out somehow so that you can speak to one. Are there any gay charities where you live that do counselling for free (Or ask for a voluntary donation)?
Is it so wrong that this was the first thing I thought when I read the title? Anyway, I've felt the same way for about a year now. I don't have much of a personal connection with anyone, and I have very little respect for humans as a population. Counseling might help if you want to get rid of these feelings and you're willing to be totally honest about how you feel, but I've sort of gotten used to it.
I would love to get the counseling but there is no place that will do it for free around here. That and I don't know how to explain to my mother how I feel... She usually makes me feel guilty or scares me out of doing things like this...
I know how i feel when i tried to come out to my mom she asked if i had told my ffriends and when i said yes she got mad........but i dont think you should care if she wants you to come out totally or not because really it wont change anything for her.
The thing is I can see where she's coming from, or at least I persuaded to do that. I want to get help but I don't know how. Our school counsler is more like a college advisor. I don't know how to explain to my mother that I want help even if it'll be a little expensive.
I know where you’re coming from. I was always an misfit, even before I knew I was gay. I adopted the keep-people-at-arms-length attitude because if I didn’t let myself feel anything then nothing could hurt me. The down side to that is that you keep people away for may turn out to be really great friends. The problem with being a teen is that is a dog eat dog world, and you can get hurt if you let your shield down.
Today has been the worst in a while. My sister's boyfriend broke up with her and she spent most of the day crying about it but I couldn't feel the least bit of compassion for her, yes we have had a rocky relationship, but I didn't feel sorry for her. Then my mom started to yell at me because I wasn't sad for my sis. I feel so worthless right now! On top of that my mom is trying to convince me to go to college close by. Yes, I am only 16 but next year I'll be a senior and I have made up my mind about MI state because I simply can't handle my family anymore!! I feel like if I died it would teachthem what they have done to me is wrong and that they are driving me into this depression and aren't willing to help me out of it.
Um not crying over your sister's boyfirend....who's boyfriend was it? I think going to college away from your family will do you some good. You need to breath a little. As for the emotion thing dont get to wrapped up in it. People react diffrently to diffrent things. You may be going through the "I don't care" phase of life. You need to loose your sanity before you can be sane. your going to college at 16! I have a feeling your mum's is having a hard time letting you go. I mean most kids go off to college at 17 or 18. She is going to miss out on a year of your life. I think thats where all the pressure from her is coming from. I think she is being overprotective rather than overbearing. She knows its a tough world for you, and doesnt want you to see you get hurt. thats why she wants you near by and doesnt want you telling other people. my opinion. Im just saying form what your writing your mom sounds like she is hurting and your getting caught up in the crossfire of her love.
