Friends...getting together.

While you can tell then that you're happy and really OK with their relationship--if any-- , you can point out that when you go out as friends it isn't a date, and that you're willing to give them space but if when you three go out in a group, I'm sure they could be... less sweet to each other.

It is not a fact of losing their friendship, is a matter of learning where is acceptable for them and when isn't.

 

The only reason you would lose these two people is if YOU let YOUR emotions make it happen. My two best friends are husband and wife. (Granted, they were going out when we met, so it's a little different...)

What's really bothering you? Do you have a thing for him? For her? For both of them? Or perhaps you're just not comfortable with your good friends having a relationship when you don't have one. It just so happens that it's with each other, which is kind of a 'double-whammy'. (It might have been different had just one of them started to date someone - then you'd at least have had the other to comiserate with.)

So, the choice regarding how you are going to handle this is yours. Are you going to let their happiness create unhappiness in you? Or are you going to accept the situation and move on?

Remember that we all move at different paces through life. If they're both 'straight' then they've probably come to a place where they're ready to date someone sooner than you. You've perhaps taken more time to figure out who you're attracted to - or why you seem attracted to both sexes (based on your posted orientation). And that's normal.

And - it's probably normal that you are a little frustrated that your friends are dating and you aren't. However, don't take that resentment out on them.

Did that make sense? Hope it helps. Jim.

 

Ok, so lets face it Parker : you're jealous.
I am not going to blame you in anyway, I have been in exactly the same place. But if you want to overcome the problem, you have to be honnest with yourself.
Maybe you have more than friendly feelings towards him, or her, or maybe both of them.
Or maybe you just feel left out, because as you said "they have their own little separated world".
Now, you can't to prevent them to become girlfriend and boyfriend if this is what they want to be. The only thing you can do is to learn to cope with it.
You don't have to feel guilty about your feelings, but you don't have to make them feel guilty about their feelings too. You are 16 and I assume that your friends are teenagers too. Starting to have love feelings and to date someone is part of growing up.
You're trio is not ment to stay exactly the same, because the three of you are growing up and if you want your friendship to last, you have to accept the fact that the relationship between the three of you is going to evolve too. That doesn't mean that it is a bad thing.
Now that your friends might need some time just for the two of them, take it as an opportunity to meet new people and to make new friends. Not to replace the one you already have, but because it could be interesting for you and maybe you'll make very good new friends.
If I may suggest you something, it would be to tell your friends that you're fine with whatever relationship they want to have, and to stick on that decision even if you had to bite the bullet for a while. With time, you'll learn to cope with it and maybe you'll finaly be happy for them.
Take care Eleanor

 

sounds like you dont wanna be a third wheel in their relationship. completely normal. and on top of that you like one of them.. so it makes perfect sense that you would feel really uncomfortable with them being together.

dont blame yourself for feeling like that, i cant imagine who wouldnt. unfortunately though, the only thing i can think of that would make this all better is for you to get a boyfriend or girlfriend that can hang out with you all and get a nice little quartet thing going. if you find someone else your crush on your friend might go away.

 

That explains a lot :icon_wink
I have been in exactly the same situation when I was around 20. I had that major crush on my male friend when he started to hook up with my best friend. I can relate completly because it had been tought for me (and I was living with them at that time).
The thing is, I don't think there is really anything else to do than swallowing your pain and trying to cope with it. At least, that's what I have done. I put some distance between us, and for the time I was with them, I just behaved myself, because I knew there was nothing else to do. Hopefully, I met someone a little while after, and things get back in order by themselves.
I also understand your worries about what would happen if they broke up. But there is nothing much you can do for this either. The only thing you can do is to be a good friend for both of them. I know it is kind of sad, but it's part of growing up. Things are not ment to remain the same. Bad things happen somethings and when you can't prevent them, you just have to learn to deal with them.
PM me if you want to talk about it.
Take care, Eleanor (*hug*)

 

Cheer up! There're other treats in the goodie bag. You may feel bad, but you'll meet someone great for you in the future (who knows, maybe in the near future!) that you'll just look back and see this as a learning experience or laugh or do whatever makes you feel better.

Being the 3rd Wheel sucks hard; I can tell you from experience. What about inviting another friend of yours that's single whenever you go out with your besties so you won't feel so alone? Then, when they're all romantic, you can chat with the other friend to distract yourself.

 

Well, I know that sucks Parker, but obviously your friend is straight. Would he had ask or not your other friend to go out, he is straight, he wouldn't have been your boyfriend.
You have to give up on that kind of relationship with him. From experience, I know it's hard and I know it hurts, but there is anything else you can do.
You have a complete right to feel depressed. Maybe you could use some time and some space right now ? Try not to see them that much for a while. It won't do you any good to see them if you feel angry and sad because of their relationship.
That kind of pain are part of everybody's growing up experience. You are not alone feeling this way, if it is of any comfort. And you'll learn from that experience even if you may not see it right now because you're just in the middle of it.
I'm sure you'll find someone you'll love and who will love you back. It is just a matter of time. So hold on.
(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) Eleanor