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Is it wise to come out now?!?!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by JA17, May 14, 2017.

  1. JA17

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Virginia
    I have been thinking of coming out for a few months now to my family and friends. However, as a 17 year old, I am totally dependent on my parents and at the mercy of their reaction. Even though this is an extreme worst case scenario, I'm terrified at the thought of being thrown out or harmed (emotionally or physically). I wouldn't know where I would go or who to run to if this happened. I would really like to come out soon but I'm concerned its not particularly wise coming out as vulnerable as I am. Is it worth it just to stay in the closet a little while longer?

    Again, I'm sure my parents love is unconditional and they wouldn't do anything to harm me but, a reality in which my parents react negatively has been something that has concerned me lately.

    All help is appreciated.
     
  2. CanadianRunner

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    It is up to you. If you feel you are in a safe environment to come out and you feel ready, then it is possible. Again, the timeline is up to you on this.

    The fears you describe are completely normal when in the closet.

    A couple things to consider:
    How do your parents react to LGBT news or events? Is it positive or negative?
    Consider researching LGBT support options that may be available in your town for gay youth, maybe there is an LGBT sport/activity or social group that interests you

    Best of luck with whatever you choose to do
     
  3. annag423

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    South Carolina
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I would definitely agree with all of that. My advice, such as it is, is just to watch how you present around them while you decide on what to do. Last summer, before I had accepting being trans or really knew anything about it, we were living with my wife's grandmother for a time. I had long hair and I took to braiding it. There where whispers from family members that I was gay. I knew I wasn't and I figured because we'd been married more than 5 years that her family knew it, too. Hell, her grandma knew me better than most so she should know, right? So I didn't address the issue. I just kept being myself. Her family members escalated things to the point that granny threw me out of the house for being gay and didn't let me back in until I'd gotten a "man's haircut". I can't help but wonder if I would have addressed the issue earlier on, before the whispering started, that maybe the whole mess could have been avoided. Granted in your situation it doesn't sound like you can do that. That's why my advice is just to watch how you present until you're ready to talk about it openly. I didn't change a thing about myself, and I honestly didn't have to. I mean, we all get to be who we are, right? I would never tell you to change who you are. Just be aware that people can draw their own conclusions without us being aware of it, and once that happens having an honest and open discussion can be far more difficult.