One thing that I'd like to do (I think? I'm wavering) is to come out to someone I trust. I'm not ready to be out publicly, but I think telling someone else would be, I dunno, helpful? validating? So there is a gay guy at work, in his 50's, and he is the only gay adult I know in real life. We work closely together, and have hung out socially a few times, board game night with my family, dinners, etc. I trust him not to gossip. He seems like the logical, safe choice to come out to. I don't really have any close friends that I could tell. I'm sure he's going to be shocked. How do I do that? How do i start that conversation? Barging into his office and announcing that I like guys doesn't seem like the right approach. I'm not sure how to articulate why I want to tell someone in general, or him in particular. More than a negative reaction, I guess I'm concerned that it will be awkward because we aren't really confidants. I'd appreciate some advice! Thanks!
Maybe you could go for lunch. There may be a suitable opening while you are chatting in a more social environment.
I came out to a gay colleague once. We went to lunch, just like NerdByNature suggested. At a break in the conversation I paused, said "Can I trust you with some confidential personal information?", and the rest was history.
One thing that has been on my mind as I think about this today is, Why should I? Things are far from settled at home. I haven't completely come to terms with it yet. This guy isn't really involved in my life. On one hand, I want to share with someone, but on the other hand, sexuality is a pretty private and personal thing. Why would I share it just for the sake of telling someone?
There's nothing wrong with having another person you can talk to. Maybe just work on a friendship and when things are more settled etc you could then broach the subject if you want to.
It sounds like a good potential confidante to have. As you process coming out, it does help to have someone to talk to. A gay guy at my work really helped me navigate many issues that surrounded coming out and finding my way in the gay world as a newly out gay man. I recommend it. Take care. ride:
