Hi. I have a problem. Everytime I'm near a good-looking boy or girl I'm always like... "oh, I'm not gonna get his/her attention:icon_sad:" and I always guess: I never get their attention. -.- I feel like nobody ever says "He's good-looking" or "I like his _________". I don't feel attractive at all. My questions are: 1. Why does this happen? 2. What can I do to fix this situation? Thanks.
1. Because you need to start being optimistic. Stop being so negative! That leads to negative things. 2. Just stay positive.. and def stop worrying what everyone is saying/not saying. Most likely people are saying it on the inside!
It's kinda a case where you often have to "fake it until you make it." It's usually pretty accurate to say that people are attracted to people who feel good about themselves, so you have to convince yourself to feel good about yourself, which then leads into a positive reinforcement loop. Often people who are enjoying themselves tend to be most attractive to others, so ideally you want to do stuff where you are having a lot of fun and not necessarily actively looking for people to find you attractive. It's definitely not really an easy thing to get the hang of (unless you are naturally one of those bubbly people) but it's not impossible, either. Just takes some practice.
I have the same issue, which I'm trying to move past. What I've found helpful is stopping to question the negative thought I've had instead of automatically accepting it - "who says that I'm unattractive", "what's the reason for feeling this way", that kind of thing. And I have to say, believing that you're not worthy of attention makes you present as though you believe you're not worthy of attention, which in turn means people are less likely to notice you. As Joey said, giving the impression that you're happy definitely makes you look more approachable.
