So this is the situation. I'm out to everyone except my one group of friends at school and family, but this is about my friends. Basically we meet last year and now we love together and are living together next year. We all play on the volleyball team, so ALL of our time is spent with each other. They are a great group people and I honestly don't think would have a problem with me being gay. I am at the point where next year I would like to start dating and don't want it to be a secret. I have NO idea how to go about telling them. With my best friends from home I did it through a letter but that's because we are all in different places. Any ideas?
Hi there! Perhaps you could start with one person in that group who you think would be most supportive. Try to come out in the way you have come out before, or maybe talk with that person when you have a moment alone with her. Or maybe meet up with a couple of the team members for a coffee and talk to them. In your coming out to them, tell them that you want to be open around them and this is the reason why you are telling them. Alternatively, you could also leave it up to them to make the connections which sometimes is a lot easier. For example, if someone ask you do you have a boyfriend, you could answer, "no I don't. I hope to be able to find a girlfriend soon." Like this you are coming out to them/the team member but at the same time you are placing the onus on them or on the team member with whom you are chatting. Try maybe to be a bit open about it. Sometimes that's easier than trying to come out in a group or to individuals within a larger group because you will have to go through the process several times. Also, you could just start looking for someone to date. When you are together with your girlfriend, invite her to a get together and introduce her and say: "This is...., my girlfriend." It sounds like that they should be okay with it. If you trust them and you know they would be accepting/supportive try going for it. I hope this helps!
i just came out to my roommate to-be a couple weeks ago during a surfing trip for the same reasons and because i knew he would take it well (although i was still nervous and i kept putting it off). the good news is he did, actually he told me it makes him feel more comfortable around me and he's even had a bad first impression with a gay neighbor abandoning his wife and children. your roommates may appreciate your honesty with them. if you know them well and trust them to be tolerant people, they probably are, and the only thing in your way is nerves, take a deep breath, relax, start by letting one of them know casually and confidently and since she's a good friend she will probably make it easier to tell the other two. good luck
You might also use another gambit - act like they already know. I've found this to work a lot of the time. So next time you're chatting with them, you might say something like "I'm all set to start dating, but I have no idea where to meet girls" or "I had a date last night - she was kinda nice, but I don't know if she's what I'm really looking for". Lex
I just bit the bullet and stated it rather bluntly to my friends in a one on one situation and then let them run through any questions they had. Something akin to, "Hey, I know this seems out of the blue, but I'm tired of trying to cover it up. I'm gay." It seemed to work fairly well, and it's a good way of just forcing it out into the open.
