I'm afraid to come out because I think people would change the way they act towards me and their opinions on me. I'm considering telling either my parents or my best friend because I just want to get it off my chest, and I think it would allow me to act more like myself and not like I'm wearing a mask. I just want some advice and hear what you guys think. Thanks!
If you feel like the people you surround yourself with would change their mind on you simply because of who you love, ask yourself this-are they worth being around?
Hey GravityHurts, What you are saying is completely normal for an LGBTQ person. Your feelings that you just need to be able to be the real 'you' are totally normal. And what poltergirl said is completely correct. Only you can decide if/when to Come Out to anyone. But when we do Come Out, we can't control anyone else's reaction. (And frankly, if they don't accept us, that's due to their own issues, not ours - we're just being honest and open with them about very personal and private information.) Many of us Come Out to close friends first (not necessarily a Best Friend - although I did that) because we need to establish a support group around us before we are ready to Come Out to family members. There is no right or wrong way of doing this. The reason that most of us Come Out in the first place is because we feel that we are living a 'lie' by not being open and honest with those closet to us. However, when Coming Out, you have to consider any potential repercussions. If you Came Out to your Best Friend would you have to worry about their reaction or trusting them to hold your secret and not Out you to anyone else without your permission/consent? If you Came Out to your parents, is there a chance that they may disown you and/or throw you out on your own? (This is less of an issue, although certainly still VERY significant, if/when you are independent of them.) Some thoughts.
Cool, dude. Just ask if you have more questions or if there are things that you asked by haven't been satisfactorily addressed.
GravityHurts...Coming out and being the real you is one of the most wonderful feelings that an LGBTQ person can have. No more hiding, no more masks, no more being careful what you say. But at your age it can be painful. You can ignore and dump "friends" that don't accept you but if your parents don't accept you, you will have to deal with years of hurt and depression. Really think about how your parents will react. The first thing that always comes up is "You're too young to make that decision". Of course it's not a decision, it's not a choice....it's who you are and you can't change it...but if they don't accept you they won't believe that it's not a choice. If you think your parents won't accept you as LGBTQ then you would be better off to delay telling them as long as possible. Maybe in a few years they will start to have a different opinion. Then again you might have to wait until you are no longer dependent on them...until you are your own. That's though, but it might be easier than going through five or six years of conflict and depression because they won't accept your sexuality. HOWEVER, if they are accepting and support you then that is really great. With their support you can work through what it means to be LGBTQ and become a well-balanced adult that can help others who are trying to understand their sexuality. Best of luck to you! Hope it goes well.....David
