What do you do when the person you've vowed your life to continues to lie to you? Even if the issues seem relatively minor (*not* white lies, in other words, hiding surprises or something), the behavior is arguably pathological. Therapy has been involved, promises that the lies would stop, and it continues. I would've said in the past that I am at wits end. But now it's beyond that. I am past wits end. What should I do?
I'd try and figure out why the lying was going on. Maybe it's something really deep, that neither of you have thought about because you're focused on the effects of the lies. But it might be time to set an ultimatum. Stop lying, or you're gone. If your partner really cares about you, they'll stop lying and get some help. I hope that helps. (*hug*)
I agree with the previous two posters. If it has come to this point, it's time to consider just how worth it this is. Go for the ultimatum and see what can be done from it
I you are talking about somting that has become a sort of addiction to the other person, the best thing to to is to stop contact untill they have straigtend up. This might be hard to do. If you vow to help this person let them go for a good time untill you see improvement. How big of a mixed message are you giving by saying you dont accept their lies yet you accept them as a whole? The lies are still attached to that person regardless of your bond with them. It is up to them to cut loose that impulse to lie, not you.
I think Legnaj has it right. If your actions don't match your words, it's harder to take an ultimatum seriously. You need to be clear that you're not going to put up with it anymore, and if it continues, you have to act on your words, as hard as it may be.
I also agree that some 'tough love' might be in order. It can't be any fun living with a person like that. And you deserve better. How long have you been together? Is this your first long term relationship? Some times those aren't always what they seem to be in the beginning. It might be time to re-evaluate how much you're willing to invest in this person and consider moving on.
