1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Friends

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Unwingedangel, May 20, 2017.

  1. Unwingedangel

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Carolina
    I have a friend, who i've been best friends with for a few years. In school, he always makes gay jokes and calling people terms and such. It seems like he's playing around, but I don't know. I wanted to come out to him a while ago, but he moved to another country and now I wanted to do it over text, but I want him to still be my friend. Should I do it?
    I've asked his opinion on Gays before, and he said "Not really his place to say anything." Hewp, please.
     
  2. gaylor

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2017
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think a risk everyone takes when coming out to people that are close to them is the possibility of a change in the relationship. If he decides that this is something that could come between your friendship, is he really a good friend? You have to decide which is more important to you, being honest and chancing the relationship or keeping it hidden. Its a personal choice. If I were you, I would just tell the person when I was sure that I was ready to do so, but only you will know when that will be! Seeing as you are already out to some (hopefully you have a support system that can help if things did go poorly) and you have been wanting to tell him, I would say go for it!
     
  3. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Unwingedangel,

    Welcome to EC!:slight_smile:

    How you choose to Come Out to someone is up to you. As gaylor indicated, we can't ever know how someone will react to our Coming Out until we actually Come Out to them. If he's a real friend, your sexuality won't matter to him.

    I would say that, that if his previous comment about gay people was that it really isn't his place to say anything, then it sounds like he's not homophobic and considers a person's sexuality to be their own personal business. That's not a guarantee that he'll accept you as a gay friend, but it does seem like a great indicator that he's open-minded and probably won't be phased or have any issues with the fact that you're gay.

    My 2cents.:slight_smile:
     
  4. Unwingedangel

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Carolina
    Thanks, I was told this by a lot of people, but I keep thinking that it might not be his fault that he doesn't accept it. When I came out to my friends I thought it'd be a lot worst than what it was. Turned out they belong on the rainbow aswell. I honestly should of told him a while ago. I'm honestly just worried that either he won't accept it, or he'll be upset that I was scared and took this long to do it. We promised to tell eachother anything when we were best friends.

    ---------- Post added 20th May 2017 at 12:01 PM ----------

    Yeah, I thought about that aswell. I seem to have a problem accepting that sometimes comments are a good thing. Thanks, I will keep this in mind.
     
  5. Unwingedangel

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2017
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Carolina
    UPDATE: I came out to him yesterday, and he was more than fine with it. He was a bit upset that I thought he'd hate me. So, thanks everyone!
     
  6. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Congratulations, Unwingedangel!:thumbsup: That took a lot of courage! I'm very happy that it went so well!:slight_smile: