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Problems Relating to coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Zoneingout, May 20, 2017.

  1. Zoneingout

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2017
    Messages:
    93
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    Location:
    Maine
    I've already come out I don't want to go through the explanation of what happened when I came out but all you really need to know is it wasn't horrible. I'm posting this here because I feel like it very much relate to the process after coming out. I'm 23 years old and I'm transgender FTM. Pronouns have been going decently with my family and friends there's a couple complaints but it's better then having nothing. Although when people call me by the correct pronouns which are male pronouns unless they are strangers I feel completely uncomfortable. I'm feeling uncomfortable because when people use my correct pronouns it feels like they are trying way too hard, they are also constantly messing up in front of me. The first year to a couple months I was okay with this because they were learning and times needed I didn't like that fact but I came to terms with it. now it's just becoming extremely awkward because of their nervousness about the situation. I've tried calming people down and saying it's okay to make a mistake but it hasn't seemed to make an improvement and it's still extremely awkward and uncomfortable, it's gotten to the point where I just prefer not to be called either pronoun. I wish that wasn't the case cuz I would really enjoy being called male pronouns but I can only be happy if people don't make it feel so dramatically life altering. It's a pronoun, it's ok.
    I'm in a bad situation other than telling people it's alright I don't know what to do and I'm sick I'm living my life feeling like I'm a giraffe living in a world of all zebras I just want to have a normal life and this is all making me really depressed and unhappy. I can see you when people don't fully understand it or accept it yet and that's fine I'm not expecting to be understood completely I just want people to stop making it into a weird scenario. I'm not going to draw anybody or leave anyone I don't want to I'm not interested and I don't believe in that so please don't try to push me to do so. I just need advice on how to make people understand they're doing a great job trying but they need to stop making it into a big deal and do so in a way that does not seem aggressive or mean but get them to understand the discomfort I'm having
     
  2. Lacayda

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2017
    Messages:
    101
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    Location:
    Germany
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Maybe you should just tell them what you told us? Talking to them is probably the only way to solve your problem