So i'm 13 I have and older brother is out and proud he has a boyfriend and thier happy my mum and dad (at least i think) support them. I have another brother and he is straight and is not. homophobic and dosnt mind my other brother being gay. According to my Mum when my brother came out it wasn't pretty she was crying and sad and more than anything angry.. My dad was abroad working at the time when we got back we wasn't particularly happy that 'Kieran' was gay but don't mind, as long as he was happy. Now my mum is really religious and prays and goes to church, i don't thinks he would appreciate having ANOTHER gay son. I don't even know if i'm gay? I know something for sure though I like gay porn i've been watching for about a year now and i masturbate over it.. (i'm quite confident with tie type of stuff) and yeah, but then after its like yuck that's gross. I also have sexual fantasies (!) of my having sex gay sex with boys in my class, particularly dick sucking! The boys in my class all call me names like 'gay boy' 'faggot' typical names i just tell them to shut up i'm not scared of them. Even boys from others classes in my year call men gay, apparently its the way i speak it's so gay, or feminine , irn use to really upset me at first but it's almost as if i've gotten use to it, i have this one friend and she so very supportive and dosnt agree with anyone calling me gay, if i where gay, she'd definitely be the person i comeback out to first she's very understanding of who i am, and respects that, she donsnt mind that i'm more feminine, she's so kind, come to think of it thought it's really only boys who call me gay appart from a couple girls, i do have some guy friends and they're understanding and don't call me fag i apprieciate them. Anyway my gay brother kieran it may seem like i could come out to him but he's really cheeky to me and finds me annoying, i don't think i'd comeback out to him, we rarely speak now and it would be more awkward if i where to come out to him. Now i do think girls are attractive and want kids and a happy family when i'm older i'm just not sexually attracted to them, although i've had a few boners of girls, never really anything oren than that i'm at a really confusing stage in life, and need advice. Thanks (!)
Hey there! I'm sorry about the difficult position you find yourself in, and I can't really give you an easy answer in how to handle it. All I can give is some heartfelt advice. First off, I really do urge you to not rely so heavily on pornography (of any type-gay or straight) to help you define what your sexual orientation is. You are a very young man at 13, and pornography throws a lot of adult erotic content at you that your mind is not yet ready to handle and comprehend. To be honest, I don't think pornography is a good idea even for adults, as its hypersexual content can lead to a very skewed understanding of how sex should be. So my point is that the pornography you watch is not helping you to define your sexual orientation. Quite the opposite is true. The pornography is actually hindering and complicating your process of gradually understanding who you are. Secondly, it's important to be honest with others about how you're feeling. You have been blessed with two older brothers who love you (yes, they really do even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it). One identifies as straight; the other identifies as gay. You really should confide to both of them how you are feeling, and you could learn much from their two different perspectives and experiences. Then when you are ready to tell your mom and dad, you'll have the support of your brothers behind you too. Last but not least, remember that you are only 13. You're still a kid, my friend. Enjoy just being a kid. You don't have to be in some rush to define yourself sexually, and you definitely should not be anywhere near having sexual intercourse at that age. You have just begun to enter puberty, and there is still much changes left for your body to go through. Just sit back and try to enjoy the ride. Take your time. Sex is an adult matter. You simply don't have to deal with it yet. You'll be so much happier if you just back up a few steps here and give yourself permission to just be a kid. Take this from someone who isn't a kid anymore. Being a kid is freaking awesome! Enjoy it!
Hiya. As I'm also a pretty young guy who was also questioning my sexuality just a couple years ago, I think I can maybe provide some decent advice. Firstly, just don't worry about it too much. A lot of kids your age and even at mine may have a lot of confusion, not just about their sexuality but also about everything else in their life. You have plenty of time to figure out everything for yourself, you and every other kid your age is going through puberty and is probably having trouble answering some sort of question about themselves. That means you should also not worry about labeling yourself either. Straight, bisexual, gay . . . they're all just words. When you're sure about something you will know it, so just don't worry about it for now. Second, just because your brothers might think you're annoying at times doesn't mean they don't love you. As an older brother myself, I do get annoyed at my little brother at times, but I still love him. As it stands it sounds like you have two loving brothers, loving parents, and an understanding friend, all of which like you for who you are. If you can, I would try to confide some of your feelings into them, because they are the people that will be the most understanding and accepting of you. As for the people who call you names, the best thing to do is ignore them and possibly tell your parents, brothers, or someone at the school if they get aggressive. There will always be some people who dislike or hate you for something out of your control, and you shouldn't have anything to do with them. Lastly, if you do end up realizing that you're not straight, remember that there's nothing wrong with you! Look to the people in your life that are rooting for you, as they're the people who you can tell when the time is right for you. You're still very young, so have fun with it!
Hey thank you both for you replies ,and sorry for such a late reply I forgot my password and recently got it recovered, I also had trouble finding my post again. Anyway a lot has changed and i'm very concerned, yeah i'm still young, but I do believe i'm quite for into puberty, I'm the second tallest in my year coming after a girl, and my voice has broke but still quite femine the name calling has stopped, but I still can't keep away from being confused.. Last week this girl I met on holiday texted me again on snapchat, she wanted me to send her streaks( which is basically sending a snap to everyone everyday to keep a streak of you never knew) so I done them for her a boy snapped back I recognised the name I knew him and had him on my snapchat acount.. Anyway he snapped back a dick pic, I snapped back a photo of a black screen, then he texted me saying is this 'Amy' ( The name of the girl ) and i said no, He then replied with if this is a boy or a girl , i replied boy, and he said he was bisexual, I never believed him at first, since he was so different irl, he never seemed bi/gay at all, then he stared sending photos of his arse and everything, I snapped back a dick pic... very regrettable, now I saved his photos he sent me just in case anything bad happened, I'd never ever ever show anyone the I think that is horrible, unless he done something bad, he then started texting saying Who is this and that, I said i'm from edinrbugh, he was too obviously and he said we could meet for blowjobs and that ... At first I was very sceptical, and never decided to tell him who i was but he was so pursuacive and I eventually gave in and told him who I was he wasn't suprised or anything, he said 'okay' and to text him on my normal acount... He then said I'm not even gay I just new it was someone I knew, and that he was going to tell EVERYONE i'm bi/gay again i'm still very confused and have no idea about my sexuality so this was very concerning, and did i mention that the name calling had died down at school well if this news came out.. ya fucker it would start again!! So i said i've got his arse pics (he also said he sent them to lead whoever it wa on) and that i'd send them to eveyone, if he said anything.. He said he would batter me if i showed anyone, he told me to delete them, and we would speak of this again.. I never believed him I knew what he was like so I said I had deleted them and then he said he was still telling people now this was late at night and i was so stressed and even started to cry I was so worried, so i sent his arse pics again and he said i'm getting battered again unless i actually delete them, now this went on for about 15 minutes until finally I said no I'm not deleting them cos you'll tell people if I do or say I do.. So he said pay me and i won't say anything I just said settle leave it here and i've still got your pics so leave it, and blocked him, I was about to sleep then, I logged back into my friends acount and saw in his snapchat story 'When some gay cunt claims he has urs pics' so obviously he thought that i was gonna tell people, i brushed this off and believed he was just as scared as i was... I cried myself to sleep that night, and woke up the next morning, very paranoid luckily nothing was flying around and his story hadn't changed so I was relived, but still very paranoid incase he deceid to tell everyone, at school I had about 2 panic attacks, and was walking home talking to my friend and told her i had to tell her something and was very concerned but I couldn't bring myself to do it, and just bursts out in tears very embarrased, but she was so supportive and she said I can tell her in my own time, so i walked home, feeling relieved but still VERY VERY VERY paranoid, he still hasn't said anything (I don't think) but i'm worried as to what's to come next, i'll update you, and I've been having really bad suicidal thoughts on this and if the news broke out or this rumour then i'd kill myself it would be too much for me.. So that brings me to now still very para, and scared something's going to brake out, i'm so worried, and I know i'm so stupid for even replying to his dick pics but it's the hormones man!!!!!! I wish i nevr revealed my identity and i'm so worried what's to come, any advice as what to do I'm still very confused about my sexuality so yeah.. Thanks for any replies it means a lot ! <3
Well obviously this is the time to go and tell someone who can help you. A counselor at school, your brothers, your parents, or another adult you trust. You can't keep this all to yourself, it's to much and you don't have to, you just have to decide to trust someone though. I have made some bad mistakes myself which had some really serious consequences. It could have been very different if I had been able to talk to an adult about it back then. So ... Hope you will not keep it to yourself. Take care
