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Teenager coming out as nonbinary/pansexual to conservative community

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Beemer, May 22, 2017.

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  1. Beemer

    Beemer
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I've struggled with my gender identity since mid-2015, and only this year managed to personally label it as what I prefer to call 'nonbinary transmasculine'. I identify as a little bit a girl, but mostly a boy, and would like to go on T or blockers and maintain a very androgynous/masc physical appearance. Only very recently I met someone my age who was openly trans with a very similar identity in real life, and after spending time with them I realized that I did indeed identify the way I presumed i did. It was very affirming, and I realized that I needed to fully come out.

    I am out to a select few close friends, who are supportive.

    The only problem is that I am a teenager, and the community I have to do the majority of my work and activities in are extremely conservative and religious. While thankfully my immediate family and close friends are very accepting, many of my friends identifying as LGBT themselves, the rest are very very close-minded to LGBT people.
    I also homeschool, and while I am looking at attending a very, very liberal high school with a high LGBT population for the fall, my current status as a homeschooler in this particular community means there are no resources in the community for LGBT youth and any mention of LGBT is met with scorn.

    My mother, while accepting of the LGBT community (were very accepting when I came out as bi and later pan, and has treated every trans person with respect and dignity) is convinced from the very little information I've given her that it's a phase and I'm just imitating other trans people. :icon_sad: My father is the same, but has no knowledge of anything that I might be trans.

    I also am absolutely terrified of the 'otherness' that I will be treated with. Everybody, no matter how accepting, will treat me differently, and while sometimes it could be bad, other times it could be good.

    So, TL/DR, transmasc nonbinary teenager looking for help on coming out to conservative community and possibly unsupportive mum & dad.
     
    #1 Beemer, May 22, 2017
    Last edited: May 22, 2017
  2. CallmeTate

    CallmeTate
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Iowa
    My parents thought it was a phase, too. And while it angered me, I just decided I can prove it to them when I do get a girlfriend. My community is more accepting than yours, I believe. But no matter how uncomfortable they seem, they'll probably learn to live with it. And while most parents don't accept it with open arms, it's their job to love you and help you. I myself like to come out to friends, and I've recently began coming out to those that aren't that close to me.
    If you have any family members that are LGBT, or very accepting, you can tell them. They could help you tell your parents, because they'd probably know your situation better than me or anyone on EC.
    If you don't have any family you can talk to, you can have one of your close friends come over and help you talk to them. And it's unlikely that your parents would freak out if you had a friend over. You can also talk to other LGBT people and know their experiences, especially if their parents weren't too accepting.

    All in all, I hope this helps, Good luck out there!
     
    #2 CallmeTate, May 23, 2017
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