So. For going on about six years now, I've identified myself as being gay. Attracted to men and all that. But. Lately I've been thinking about it, and I'm wondering if maybe I'm not asexual, instead. Whenever I think about it for too long, though, all these contradictions start popping up. Watching two guys go at it turns me on, for one thing, but I can't seem to imagine myself doing any of that - and at the same time I do want to. And don't even get me started on kissing. And that all made me think about being asexual, which is putting me in a pretty weird position. I never really went through a phase where I was unsure of my sexuality before (at least, not that I can recall), but now I'm not so sure. I mean, I still only see myself as ever having a relationship with another guy, but now I'm questioning what exactly I mean when I say "relationship." What it comes down to, I guess, is a general lack of information on the topic. Does anyone have any relevant links?
Asexuality would entail a lack of sexual attraction to either gender, but it sounds like you feel attraction to men. Which would make you gay. When you meet a nice guy and perhaps a relationship develops, things might become clearer. Just because you can't imagine having sex with a guy doesn't mean that it's not a possibility.
I have similar questions. Have a look at AVEN (www.asexuality.org). But if you get turned on by watching two guys together turns you on, then it doesn't sound like you're asexual! Maybe you do want a sexual relationship but find the idea a bit scary?? That's about where I'm at, I think.
definately check out the AVEN site, there's a wealth of info there. also note that getting turned on by porn doesn't necessarily preclude asexuality. plenty of asexuals in fact do watch porn. it's really a lack of sexual attraction to people in real life i think. but also note that some asexuals, although they don't experience sexual attraction, still actually do enjoy sex. bloody confusing i know! best thing is to check out the site.
i'd say that since you have an attraction to men your not asexual, you may be just someone who has a really low sex drive, but check out the sites the previous posters said if you wanna check out the asexuality but i dont think you are
Beign asexuel doesn't imply that you are not gay. You can completly be asexual and gay. My husband for example is asexual and straight. He is attracted to woman (which is the reason he married me ) but doesn't feel any sexual urge, or at least sexual urges that are not powerful enought to make him want to have sex. You can completly be attracted to men and in the same time don't want to have sex. About having a relationship, you may want beign involved in a romantic relationship with a man that doesn't imply sex or not a lot of sex. Or you can discover when you will find the right man for you that you want to have sex with him because it is beign involved in a relationship that turns you on. The only thing I would recommand if you get involved in a relationship with someone is to communicate clearly about what you want and don't want about sex. It could spare you and your partner a lot of pain and misunderstanding, especially if your partner feel sexual. I definitlty recommand checking AVEN site on these questions. http://www.asexuality.org I hope it helps, feel free to contact me if you want to talk about it. Take care, Eleanor
I wouldn't worry about arriving at any kind of conclusion. You're only 18. And you've been sexually aware since you were 12. It could be that you simply have to alter your outlook or expectations around what it means to be gay. What did you mean with this? That you can't imagine kissing a guy? What comes to mind for me is that you haven't completely come to terms with being gay yourself - or what that means. If you concluded at 12 that you were gay, you likely have some preconceived notions about what that means. But if you formed those at the age of 12, you might not have a really complete picture. (Does that make sense?) Because others of us didn't have any kind of relationship with ANYONE until we were much older than even 18. So you've got time to figure it out. Personally, because I was in denial for so long, I considered myself to be just 'curious'. And my first experiences were just sexual. It was just about 'getting off' and of course I wasn't going to kiss or have a relationship wth a man. But as I got comfortable with the thought of being gay, and allowed myself to consider the possibility, then the thought of kissing, and having a romantic relationship got easier to contemplate. So perhaps you just need time. And you've got lots of that - trust me. If you want to chat one on one, just let me know.
your gay. just because you arent fussed on sex doesent mean your not your still attracted to guys and want to but just cant see yourself perhaps you have a confidence issue i agree above take your time if you meet a nice guy become friends talk about how u feel and see where things go dont worry sexuality isnt that big a deal it doesent define you after all how can something that happens behind closed doors matter that much in the outside world take it easy p.s love your sora
You're only 18, give it time. It was a long time before I could imagine myself actually having sex with anyone, and like you I thought I might be asexual, but damn, when I finally did get intimate with a guy I knew that was wrong.
It sounds to me like you may be in a bit of denial about your sexuallity. I did the same thing. I made very excuse in the book, even the asexual one. But don't sweat it too much. You don't need to come any kind of a conclusion right away. You've got your whole life to figure things out.
All I can say is I am the exact same way. I've never had any attraction to girls, and since two guys gets me going I thought, "Well, I must be gay, right?". I didn't even take into consideration the fact that I want almost nothing to do with sex or relationships in general. I guess at this point I'm playing by ear, still haven't kissed a guy or girl or anything beyond that.
