i am very worried about one of my close friends. and the fact that i am the one who hurt him is tearing my insides to pieces. i'll begin with the current situation. he is taking all the drugs he can get his hands on, cutting himself, and leaving suicide notes. i care about him. and i will explain why he is feeling so. in the beginning, jake and Jo were going out. they were together for three years, but Jo wanted to end it sooner. this is where I come in, he left Jo for me. and i believed that i was completly in love with him. it was only a month after we were going out that i realised who i actually was and what it meant to truly love someone. and the one that my stupid mind fell for was Jo. i found it difficult to accept myself, so it was a big decision to sort out what i acctually felt like, because i wanted to be straight. just like everybody else. i wanted my God to accept me, and not to be looked at differently, and not be labeled as someone different. im still finding it hard to call myself any sexuality as it is. being in a straight relationship with jake was confusing me, and i didn't like the situation. so i did the sensible thing and broke up with him. he was devistated. this happened about three months ago. quite recently and a while before, he wanted to get back together because he felt there was nothing left in the world that made him feel happy and i was the only way out of his increasing depression. i stayed with a 'i don't know' for a while then finally came out with a no because i couldn't take another relationship. the no was two days ago. jake is also bisexual. he has alot of family issues. and now he feels that the only way out of his situation is to murder himself. thats the damage i have done to his fragile mind by being who i am and falling in love with the wrong people. i tried to talk to him today. but he refuses to be friends. he said that he just couldn't bear to be around me without being with me. Help me to help him.
You can't ever fall in love with the wrong person. There's no such thing. It's a bodily and spiritual connection beyond mortal mentalities grasp. Do the best thing you can. Be a friend. And do it well. It can be prevented. If he really meant to do it, he'd have probably done so by now. Sometimes, being a friend means being an enemy. It's not his fault that you discovered who you could be, what and who you really are. Tell him that hon. Okay, my advice is not easy at all...but I think you are definitely in a position to change things.
You said yourself that he has a lot of family issues. Which means that his thoughts of suicide are not caused only by your rejecion of him. Don't place all the blame on yourself. Your rejection may have been one little thing in a line of many (a rejection which was the right thing to do if you don't feel that way) but you didn't cause his whole situation. (*hug*) If you cannot convince him that his life is worth living, then the best thing you can do for him to tell someone that can stop him from taking it He may feel betrayed, he may be angey, but he will be alive. Is there anyone you can tell about this that could prevent him from doing this?
biisme is right. This is absolutely not your fault. He is having problems, and I think you should try to be there for him. However you definitely should not take the blame for anything that has happened/will happen. All you can do is try to convince him to see the brighter things in his life. I have a friend in who is in a similar state, and it's hard to just stand by and feel helpless. but in reality all we can do is try to convince them things will get better. It's up to them to realize that on their own. I hope things work out for both of you. If he wants to be alone, give him the space he needs, but also make sure someone is taking care of him. That's really all you can do right now.
They are right. You really can't blame yourself for this. The best thing you can do is just try to be there for him and try to remind him that life is a really wonderful gift. If he still pushes you away I would get him help pretty quickly before he does anything. I know it feels horrible to be the "bad guy" but he will thank you later. Talking to a therapist would probably be a good thing, even after he decides that life is worth living. He s clearly going through a lot. If he doesn't want to talk to someone in person ask him to call a help hotlne. The Trevor project has a really good help line for lgbt kids. I hope the best for you and him.
