Hey, I've been away for a while, after moving for Uni. After New Years I completely came out of the closet (excluding my Mum's side of the family) which in my opinion was one of the best decisions I ever made. I now live alone while studying at Uni. My Problems: 1. Recently, I came out online to my friends on MySpace, Facebook etc. and the responses have been positive too. Some word of this however, has gotten back to my Mum, and she wants me to essentially go back into the closet online. She chose to break this on me last night, and it has me worried, as she can get me kicked out of home if she wanted to. 2. Recently I've been feeling sort of down, I'm unsure exactly why, but I've been feeling drained of energy, not wanting to get up out of bed, feeling unhappy, and actually missing some very important classes as a result. I'm unsure what exactly is causing this though. I'm thinking I may have an iron imbalance, as I don't eat red meat. If anyone could give me some advice, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks, David
Hi David ! First thing, congratulations for your coming out ! Now about your worries. Do you know exactly why your mum is worried about your coming out online ? Is she worried about the fact that her part of the family would know by this way or because she is affraid you might have bad reactions from people ? I think you should talk with her about the exact reasons why she doesn't want you to be out online. You also said you are scared that she might kicked you out of home. Have you any reasons to think she could do such a thing ? If she is ok with the fact that you are gay, and despite of the fact she disagree with you about your coming out online, maybe you are other reacting thinking she will kicked you out. About the fact you are feeling down, I would definitly recommand to talk to your doctor about it and about for worries of having an iron imbalance. If it comes from this, he could give you iron supply and hopefully, you might feel better soon. But what you describe also sounds to me as depression symptoms. You have been throught a tought path with your coming out and all the changes in your life. It might have been very tiring from an emotionnal point of view and it can lead to depression. If you are facing a depression, your doctor could help you with this issue too. I'm maybe not the most qualified person here to answer your questions, I hope it helps a little. Take care, Eleanor
Thanks Eleanor, My mum as far as I know doesn't approve, we had a huge fight back when she found out, and some of the stuff she said really shows her viewpoint on that. Her main worry as far as I can tell seems to be that she doesn't want it to get around in our old hometown where my grandparents live. (she doesn't know, but it's been common knowledge there since new years too) and it getting back to my grandparents. She implied in the discussion we had that she'd tell them herself. They own the house that I currently live in, so if they find out and it's a negative reaction, I'm on the streets essentially
You need to explain to your mother that its YOUR life, and your decision who you tell (personally, i hate people telling me what to do, if my mother said don't tell your grandparents, that'd be my first phonecall lol) It takes alot for people to wipe family members off. I really dont think sexuality is one of them. Sure, some highly religious types wont approve, but most, with some time, will come to accept it.
to tell you the truth I'm surprised that it hasn't gotten to my grandparents yet. If it has, they haven't said anything about it. I've given my mum the it's MY life speech a few times now, and she still doesn't understand. and I've actually thought of cutting myself off completely from her, the only thing stopping me atm is the fact that I need my grandparents' Bendigo house for uni, and if she's still as bad when I finish uni, I may actually follow through with it.
If her main worries is that your grandparents learn about you beign gay that way, maybe you should come out to them yourself. Of course, you only knows if you should do it or not.
