Lately, all I think about is, "You nee totell your parents that you're gay". It's haunting me, and yesterday I didnt sleep till 5am and had to wake up at 7for my first class of the day. Sorry for the typos im on my iphone. And so I dont know why I keep having the urge to tell them, Im in college and Im at a point where I need my parents financially, and I cant jeopardize that. I sort of came out to my mom in december, she was nosy and read a text my bf had sent me, and I took it back because she turned on me. But last night I wrote a coming out letter, which I will post up later, but I dont plan on sending it out, I guess it was just a way to vent. Have any of you guys dealt with the same thing?
If you think your parents won't respond well to you coming out, there's no reason to do so, especially if you're dependent on them for your bread and cheese. Since your mother has indicated that she might not respond well, it might be just as well to wait. (And since your mother read that text, she might know anyway...) Lex
Im getting advice from my bf's mom sometime this week. She kind of wen through the same with his sis coming out. And Im going to ask her about the letter. I was in class an hour ago, and all I could think about was about telling my parents. Im so traumatized lol.
I feel like im lying to them by not telling them that Im gay! And i want to be able to be myself around them and not just in college,no im not flamboyant, but Im too serious with them. And I would also like them to meet my partner someday, although they already met him as a friend lol. My mom was totally in love with him, but the minute she found oyt he was gay, she didnt like him anymore. :/
I do encourage people to come out to their parents, but only if: 1. they think there's a good chance that their parents will respond in a semi-positive way, or 2. they're no longer dependent on them financially. You don't appear to be in either situation, though. Coming out to them seems like it might end up being more of a thing to argue about rather than a way to resolve an unspoken truth. You've given your mother some hints that you might be gay, and she didn't respond well to them. Given that, I'd say it might be best to simply not tell them until you're out on your own. Lex
Is there some middle way you can do this - start the ball rolling? My thought: maybe bring up your boyfriend in a conversation with your Mom, but not as your bf just as your friend, saying you've been hanging out with him more or something. If/when she goes off on him being gay, then you could start a heavy talk with your Mom defending him, saying its not his choice, there's nothing wrong with him, he's a good guy, etc. If she just doesn't want to discuss it, you could say 'no, i want to understand why you are so insecure and ignorant about gay people.' Maybe this way you can get some things off your chest and try to educate and maybe plant the seed, but still while not actually coming out yourself.
Yeah I'm in agreement that you should wait to tell them until you are financially independent. It sucks, but not as much as the possibility of being cut off completely. Focus on college, and your boyfriend.
