I complty just went nuts at my best mate and now he has stoped talking to me Il start from the start, The other day i came out to my crush, i told her everything, that im crazy about her and that iv spent that last few months getting over her. she was cool about it, she has a boyfriend so i knew nothing was going to happen i just needed to get it of my chest. It was good for me to do i think, up untill today My best mate was talking to her today about it all. he told me about it and i just went nuts, told him to stay outer my life cause he was making it harder, I was a mega bitch but i just think he was rong for talking to her bout it all Hes been there for me and is one of the only people i have came out to, i need him but i think iv stuffed it up good this time advice on how to fix this?
Hi there! Not taking any sides here but while I do think that your best mate should not have talked to your friend about it, I think you could have handled in a bit differently? Maybe instead of flipping out at him, you could have just said, I am upset that you talked to her about it, as it is really none of your business. If I wanted you to know I would have told you." Left it at that, and just said to him, I need a few days to cool off. How to fix this? Call him and tell him that you are sorry that you flipped out at him like this, but that you do want him to respect your conversations with others because this is what friends do. Maybe he thought there would not be anything wrong with it. He clearly overstepped one or two boundaries here. But try to forgive him but at the same time make it clear to him that he should not have done that. We all do make mistakes and only after all is said and done we realize the mistake. So if you can find it within you, maybe try to forgive him. He is a good friend who has been there for you and you do need him. Doesn't sound like someone you want to be losing. Hope this helps a bit! (*hug*)
Your best off writing him a letter or e-mail trying to explain how you over-reacted and how getting over her was hard and you dont want that being dragged up anymore than it has to be. Apologize apologize apologize! Make sure its sappy, make sure he knows why you felt the way you did, make sure he knows your sorry, and make sure he knows your ready and willing to put this behind yourself because you need him in your life. You kinda screwed up here, heh. Now its your turn to get on your hands and knees and beg
Greg's right, as usual. I'd say a letter or email would be your best choice because if you're talking to someone in person or over the phone, it's easy to go off at them in the heat of the moment and say something you shouldn't. I'd write about how you were feeling, what happened leading up to it, and why you blew your fuse - if he understands the emotions behind it, I think he's more likely to forgive you. Good luck!
Thinking back on it: I think your best bet would be trying to find him and take him aside and just try talking to him and to let him know that he is still a friend and that you are sorry about 'over reacting'. While all of the suggestions are good I think a one on one talk might be better. The reason: Phone calls: he can screen/ignore/doesn't have to answer E-mails: he doesn't has to open them/he can delete them Letter: he might not open it/he can throw it out. Plus, and as you have said, he is a good friend, someone who you like and is important to you. I think it might be best when you talk with him. Give it a couple of days. Sometimes time is a great healer in all by itself. Take the time to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. If you follow it up with a heart felt apology and let him know that he should not have done this and if he wants to know things that he should talk to you, I think things should work out.... But it is really up to you as to how you want to proceed. Good luck!
keep it simple, apologize, say you overreacted, ask for his forgiveness, and say you never want this kind of thing to happen to you two again, and throw in a hug. you dont have to talk about why; he was there, he knows what happened, explaining it brings up painful memories for you both, if he's smart he wont repeat what he did anyway. just remember, its not about who was right and who was wrong, its about staying friends, you can talk about those things when its a less sensitive subject.
Just let the dust settle, then try talking to him. If he is a decent person, and your best friend, he will not care that you had a small tiff and he easily forgive you. Try to talking to him, if you have to, try getting his attention with something he likes, it does work lol. Seriously just let him know that you are sorry for the way you re-acted, but also let him know that you were upset that he was talking to her about it, and tell him know how you felt then and how you feel now. Goodluck, I hope everything goes well.
