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Is this the best way?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by pikachu1, May 5, 2009.

  1. pikachu1

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    I want to tell my mom about me by email. I figure if I send her an email she can read it, ponder on the facts then me and her can talk. I want to do it this way because I'm very bad at direct confrontations with people. The thing is that I feel by doing it this way seems impersonal and I don't like that. I came out to my sisters by email and they responded well but I don't know how my mom will especially since I live with my mom and she wouldn't have much time to take in what I said since I see her everyday. Is this the best way or is there some other way?
     
  2. Maddy

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    I suggest you have a look at the Coming Out Letters section of the Resources page. I definitely recommend coming out in letter form, as it means you can draft it and make sure it says everything you want it to. If you want it to be more personal, I'd suggest writing it out and giving it to her, and sitting with her while she reads it - you're still there with her as she reads your words, and it's more personal than an email.
     
  3. Mirko

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    Hi there! First off, congrats on coming out to your sister. :slight_smile:

    How about writing a letter for your mum and leaving it with her or sending it to her (if you don't live with her)? A letter would definitely be more personal. After you have given it or send it to her you can still give her a bit of time to herself if she needs that. Maybe you can leave it for her to read it during a time when she is not too busy so that she has time to read and talk with you after wards.

    Hope this helps a bit!
     
  4. Mason

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    Now this is just my opinion, but I'd say just, since you live with her, tell her you have something important to tell her. Sit her down and talk to her about it. If you have that much trouble actually sitting her down and talking to her about it, then yes, a letter would be the best form. But I'd do what firecausesburns said to do. Write her a letter, give it to her, and sit down with her while she reads it. That way, she can say anything she wants to while she is reading it.
     
  5. paco

    paco Guest

    do you believe your mom will have a big reaction? is she extremely religious? if not, i would say do it in person, ask your sister to help give you moral support and make it less uncomfortable for yourself, she should understand how difficult it is for you, and having her there will give you confidence because she's already accepted you. plus it will also be harder for your mother to react badly because it would be clear that your sister is the more mature one. if your mom does manage to react badly, it wont be as bad because your sister was there, she either softened the blow, or can talk to you afterward because she knows exactly what happened and who was wrong.
     
  6. Prccgeek

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    I would write out a letter. That way you don't have to go face to face and tell your mom. I think letters always feel more special and important than emails in my experience. I think it is because peope don't write out things as much any more( on paper). That is what I would do. Then you don't to worry about it being impersonal. Do whatever feels right for you though. It is different for everybody. Good luck !!!
     
  7. Prccgeek

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    I agree that just sitting down and talking to her is the best, but the letter is the second best. Best wishes.