So here's the dilemma: I'm 18 and about to graduate here in a few weeks. I probably won't see 90% of my senior class again and I might be going to college a long way away from my home. I go to a school in a fairly large city (Little Rock, AR) with an out gay pop. of about 20 but only about 3 guys. I was wondering if it's even worth coming out now or should I just wait for college. The other dilemma is that I might go to a college near hear that will contain about 20% of our college bound senior class and some of the people I would most likely come out to first. It just seems weird after all these years of knowing these people to wait this long. What do ya'll think?
I can tell you what my son felt like. He felt remorse for not telling his closest friends BEFORE he was out of school. When he eventually did tell them they were fine with it and very supportive.
It is up to you, but I would probably wait until college. Even if the community is very open minded it is still a stressful process to come out to all of those people. If you are never going to see them again, it might not be worth it. However, if you haven't told some of your closer friends, ones that you will keep in touch with in college, now would be a great time to tell them. You have the rest of school year and I am assuming the summer. If you do happen to go to college near by, you could also come out to friends in your senior class who wouldne going there with you. That way you will have some practice coming out ( if you haven't already) and you will have people to support when you come out in college (along with all of us at EC of course). It is up to you. If you are ripping at the seams and just want to tell everyone go for it. This is just my suggestion. Hope I helped!
Hi there! First off, welcome to EC! I don't think it is or would be weird to wait 'this long' given that we usually follow with what we feel comfortable. It doesn't matter when you come out, as long as you feel comfortable and and ready. Maybe try not to 'worry' about the 90% of your senior class that you probably won't see or hear from again. Maybe just concentrate on the 10% that you might still have some connections with, and are in contact even with going away for college. If among these 10% you have a few that are important to you and feel they should know before you go, and feel comfortable with them knowing, maybe try coming out to them. If you have a couple of class mates who you can trust, know it would be 'safe' to come out to them, and feel comfortable with them knowing, maybe give it a go and take it from there. Like this, even if you decide to stay and go to a local college, some will already know then... Hope this helps!
Hi - and welcome to EC. This is a stressfull time in your life. You've got final exams and such to worry about. If you're torn over this, then just wait. You've waited this long, so don't worry about it. Then, after exams, why not tell your closest friends? It's not the 20% who might go to the same college that matter, unless they are your closest friends. Conversely, if your best friend is going to school on the other side of the country, they should probably be someone you tell about your orientation when you're ready to tell anyone. Good luck, and hang out here in EC.
Thanks for the warm welcome and all the advice. I've got three people in mind that a plan to talk to within the next week about this. They are all pretty close friends that I plan to keep up with after college. One is another gay chick who I'm 100% confident will be cool with it. One of them is my prom date who I would have told earlier but I'm so paranoid that she wouldn't want to go with me anymore if I told her. And another one is probably my best friend who was has kind of been pissed because a lot of our closer friends have come out. I joked with her that I would be next but she didn't believe me. I'm kind of nervous about telling her but she'll get over it. After that, I hope it kind of snowballs, but I hate that I've built myself up one way for all these years, and now I have to tell all these people I've been lying to them.
