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Bis: like boys/girls equally all the time?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Psychedelic Bookmarks, May 8, 2009.

  1. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    If you're bi, or open to both or whatever, do you find that your attraction to different sexes goes up and down? Like sometimes you're more into boys and sometimes more into girls?

    Because I was going through a major liking girls phase for a while, but recently I'm a lot more interested in boys again. I still like girls, but it's all about the boys right now. Does that sound familiar? Or am I just my own brand of awesome in this regard? :wink:
     
  2. Derek the Wolf

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    Absolutely. A few months ago I was almost exclusively attracted to girls, before that it was guys. Right now I'm strongly attracted to guys. Certain things influence your attractions when you're bi, and it can change rather suddenly or unexpectedly. If you're in a relationship that's a major factor (the fact that I have a boyfriend makes me more attracted to guys), among other things.
     
  3. VexTaylor

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    I have heard this from many people that are bi. They will change who they are attracted to all the time, which is actually one of the reasons I thought I was bi for so long. I would pretty much always be attracted to guys, but I would sometimes find myself looking at girls. I wasn't really attracted to them which I didn't really realize until later, but it confused me. Anyway, its perfectly normal for you to change which sex you are attracted to more.
     
  4. Jesse Jinx

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    Yes. This happens to me often. I'm really liking the girls right now, but a while ago I was really into guys. You're not alone. But this whole teeter-totter thing made it really hard for me to figure out what was going on with myself when I first started to wonder what I was. Did this happen to you?
     
  5. Lexington

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    I don't think this is something that's exclusive to bisexuals. I go through periods when I'm really attracted to, say, really muscular men, or quiet bookish types. Or various sexual activities will seem especially hot. It lasts for a while - a week, a month, a couple months - and then it sort of recedes back into the list. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  6. Starshine16

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    It is totally normal.i went through a phase months ago where I was all about the boys and now that has changed and I am completely into girls.Maybe it's due to the fact that boys have disappointed me a lot and girls haven't done that.I don't know,but yeah my levels of attraction ro boys and girls change.Not a lot,but sometimes.
     
  7. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    Yes! It's been so confusing. So, so, so confusing. I don't know if anybody here has been reading or following the progression of my little "orientation" box, but it's swung round and round hundreds of times.

    I concentrated a lot on girls for a while, so I kind of thought I was totally gay, but every now and then it would change and confuse me again. I came out to some people at that point, as gay, and now, as I accept the fact that, yes, I do like boys, I'm starting to think maybe I need to come out again as bi. Perhaps because the word 'bisexual' covers such a multitude of different experiences and sexualities, it can be very hard to realise it might be the best word for you.

    Hehe, that's true, Lex. Maybe that's a good way of thinking about it; just in the same way as you'll like a particular person/type at different times, sometimes you can be more partial to a particular sex.
     
  8. Elesbian47

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    There are many beautiful and intriguing people in this world. I think its somewhat closed-minded to rule out anyone based on their genitals. Someone can have the [preferred gender] traits that you find sexy even if they're not your preferred gender.
    And hormone levels are often changing, too.
     
  9. Just Adam

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    i just aint fussed by either sex all the time both have good and bad points if i see someone and get a vibe from them then i like them :slight_smile: it just works for me:slight_smile:
     
  10. techie01

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    Its weird, I feel like sometimes I am more attracted to guys then I see this really pretty girl with some great features then my minds does a 180. Its kinda weird to explain but it is confusing!
     
  11. Zac4

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    im so happy the OP brought this up, i thought maybe it was just me.
    xcept my latest guy phase has lasted pretty much over the past year so dunno what that means. but its cool i'm not the only one.
     
  12. Iceeh

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    Yeah, I tend to flip flop a lot. It causes much confusion on my part!
     
  13. GhostDog

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    Yeah, I do that too. Or at least have, in past. Been on a girl swing for... a long time now, haha. I may well get in a boy mood again sometime, though! You never know.

    It does make figuring yourself out really hard though. I kind of had no idea what was going on at first! I'd think I'd know about where I was, then I'd go on a girl kick or a boy kick and just felt like I'd lost it! Took me a few years to see a pattern, I think.

    But yeah. You're soooo not alone!
     
  14. Rygirl

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    I know how you feel, though I tried to supress it for a long time, I was into girls for quite a while, now I'm sort of prefering guys at the moment but my head will still turn if I see a hot girl.
     
  15. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    I'm glad if it's helped you too :slight_smile: It can be so confusing. My current swing in favour of boys has really, really, confused me, because it's been VERY strong, and suddenly I'm like "What? Am I straight?!" And I kind of suspect it's gonna stick around for a while. But yeah, it's great to know that lots of us share this phases thing.

    I too tried to suppress it a lot. At times, I've tried to suppress my liking for girls, and at other times, my liking for boys. I've been such a self-censoring idiot, one moment censoring one way and the next the other; I'm just starting to learn how to accept whatever comes along.

    In a way, I feel quite happy that there's a very broad term like bisexual which I could use, because there are hardly any stipulations required to be bisexual; you don't have to be 100% anything. So long as you have experienced attraction to women (umm, yes) and to men (umm, yes), you're in. And that's my kind of easy-going label :grin:
     
  16. Yeah, I'm the same way. I have gay phases and straight phases. Kind of annoying, really.
     
  17. Shevanel

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    Just Like everything, I look at bisexuality like an ocean. With tides and waves and such. It just fluctuates and the tide pulls in or it pulls out, and there are little waves and big waves and its all really just that we just like humans in general, thats why its all one big body of ocean but from time to time the tides fluctuate and we have inclinations toward certain genders and sometimes we don't. :slight_smile: (If you understood that at all. You're amazing XD)
     
  18. qisforquinton

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    I really enjoyed reading this thread, it's really interesting. I thought of myself as bi for a few years, I liked girls and I liked guys. Like everyone else mentioned, I'd have phases where I'd like one gender more than the other. Over time, though, I started liking girls less and less. Last year, I officially decided I was gay, not bi. I guess I just lost the attraction -shrugs-.
     
  19. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    That's a lovely way of thinking about it :slight_smile: