Ok people, i need a bit of advice. Yesterday a close friend of mine (call him H) told me that he was just browsing through our other mates (call him F) mobilewhen he found some gay porn on it. Now H hasnt got a problem with this at all but he didnt say anything to F at the time. Now, we as a group have always suspected that F may be bi or gay but we never said anything cos we just thought that if he was then he would say something when he wants. In wasnt something we gossiped about but just something that was once mentioned. Now, F is highly religious and if he was ever to come out, knowing his family, this just wouldnt be something that would go down tooooo well. F is alos the one who makes homophobic comments cos he completely disagrees with it!! The other thing is F is getting married next month!! Now, H has told me not to say anything to F but i dont know what to do!! To be fair though, he might not be gay, just be curious though!! If he hasnt accepted it himself then theres not much i can do, is there?? :help:
Dude....why the hell was H snooping on Fs mobile? I think you should stay well away from this. H should never have been looking through Fs mobile and by talking to F about this you will be implicating yourself in this deed of mistrust. If I was you I would not say a thing.
Sorry, H wasnt snooping!! F had said to look through his phone to find a pic and then F went to the toilet!! and thats when H found it!! Sorry, i should have made it clear!!
Oh sorry misunderstood. Ummmmm well if thats the case then he obviously wasnt that bothered about you guys finding the gay porn. In which case its not something he's trying to hide from you guys and I dont think you should be worried about him. So maybe he watches a bit of porn.....if he's bi then thats how he reflects that side of his sexuality. Be careful about what you say to him because you dont want to be the cause of unnecessary arguments between him and his mrs. If its really eating you up then just pass a little hinted comment about what you and H found.... "So we found some interesting things on our little picture hunt on your phone" and if he doesnt understand then get him to give you his phone and show him what you found. But do it when there's no-one else around. You'd get your answer then.
To be honest, i dont think F realised that it was still on his phone, but i dont think i would want to say anything cos it would all blow up!! From the homophobic stuff ive herad him say.....i think he's just compensating by hating homosexuality cos of his religion. Cos he will at random times just say "oh that gay priest, thats just wrong"" when theres no need for that. That was just one of the reasons we suspected ages ago and then when H found the porn, it kinda added another point to it, if u know what i mean!! But then i also want him to know tha its ok if he does want to talk about things. maybe ill say that to him!!
You have the best intentions, but this sounds like a very tricky situation. Maybe you can confront him about it and only mention the porn on his phone if you really think it's necessary. Reassure your friend that there's nothing wrong with being gay/bi and tell him how hard it was for you personally to come out (assuming you're out to him) and say that the good thing that came out of it was that you weren't lying to yourself. He may not be gay, he may not be bi he just might be curious, but really if he doesn't truly love the woman he's marrying (in that way) then it's not fair to him or his fiance to enter into a relationship where he's hiding something so important. Okay, you may risk damaging your friendship, but you just have to decide if it's worth that risk Do whatever you feel is best, with no regrets and you will have made the right choice
I havent actually come out to him cos of my own fears of what he may say.....and i know he doesnt know any gay people cos he just wont allow himself to be friends with any openly gay people!! Hes known me now for 4 years and im still the same person so hopefully that may help in shifting his views!!
Well, I wouldn't say you're gay automatically from watching gay porn. On the other hand, if it was gay porn, and he apparently went through the trouble of putting it on his mobile, and yet he acts extremely homophobic... I'd say that's fishy. Resolving this is a bit tricky as well. It is very much possible that he isn't at all out to himself (which is what happened to me, somehow despite having a stash of gay porn, I always managed to convince myself it got on my computer by accident :rolleyes Perhaps you could bring it up jokingly ("dude, next time you give us your mobile to browse, check what's in there!") in a tone that indicates you aren't in the least bothered by it. If he flat-out denies or dismisses it there's not much you can do to press the issue, but at least you put it on the table...
Let me see if I have the situation straight. A straight (or closeted) guy has gay porn on his cell phone. He hands somebody else his phone, tells him to look through the pictures, and leaves. When he comes back, nobody calls him on it. Sorry. Not believing it. Lex
No, its true Lex!!! Im telling this story second hand cos i was only told by my mate yesterday. It happened nearly a year ago when my mates went on holiday. I unfortunatly wasnt able to go. H only told me this now cos i was worried about coming out to F and then he said that he had suspicions about F actually being gay. They were flicking through pics and he gave them his phone to look through a set of pics but then there was another set which was in a separate folder or something, and were easily accessible, not hidden or anything!! Now i dont think F planned for H to see the other pics but he did, and then didnt say anything cos he was embarresed by by the fact he had found this!!
If it was me, I wouldn't be able to keep out of it. I think you should at least come out to him, maybe it'll make him realize he has someone to talk to. For his own good, it's worth the risk. Gay porn on his phone is highly suspicious.
Agreed, he knows it's on there, and he wouldn't forget something like that. If he did forgot that was on there, then he is trying to say something. Or the friend F made this lie up because he thinks this guy is gay, in which is trying to hide his sexuality by making your friend look bad. Or he just totally was drunk when he did the searching, and passed out the night before, and forgotten that it was on there. Which would be he has subconscious feelings, or curious. But I doubt that. There's no way he "assuming he was okay when he did it" could possibly hand that over with gay porn on it. So he is probably wanting to talk about this, as his way of coming out.... or it's a lie.
I wouldn't call him gay just because of that. Just because of the porn the person prefers doesn't make their sexuality. It's all personal preference.. what ever gets them off the best.
i dont think that it makes him gay or bi, not unless u know if hes had it on there for quite some time. then its suspicious. a straight guy would most likely delete it the second after he recieved it (if it was sent to him). and homophobic remarks do usually signal to someone being unsure/uncomfortable with their own sexuality. but, u never know, he could be straight.
