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School

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Elven, May 9, 2009.

  1. Elven

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    Umm hi I was just wondering if anyone could give me some advice....

    I just go to a normal secondry school and like alot of them alot of people are Homophobic. At school we never got taught about it in the slightist. My primary school was Church of England and so never even dared to bring it up, and now at secondry when people are maturing, people who find out they're homosexual can't say anything or people will judge them and they will get abuse since most people are really uneducated on the matter and so alot belive it is a choice...

    We even had this thing where boys got helped with growing up... It was with these two men and I was in a room full of boys, he said you are free to leave at any time but no-one ever has before (feeling pressurised we all stayed...) first we did an exercise to open up with our mates (I disliked most of the people in the room...) and we each picked up a random card off the floor and do what is says... Most people had to sing a nurcery rhyme or run around barking like a dog... I picked one and it was, "Say who in the room is the most attractive", I was really afraid and I had recently confirmed I was gay... I had to pick someone so I picked someone I hated but he was quite attractive then they made me say why :tears: I said I don't know hes like fit and stuff then they let me sit down... we then started to discuss things like Porn, Women, what we think makes a man (through all of this I felt unconfortable and they said not being gay as one of the things that makes a man :frowning2: the two men didn't correct or take notice that we put this) and then homosexuality came up... People said how they thought a man and a man together is completely wrong and how a women and a women together is sexy -_- the two guys didn't correct them but simply said that they personally find it wrong but that five people in the room might turn out to be gay and that it takes you entill your 20 to be sure... I was very sure already -_- the door seemed very appealing by this time but I was haunted by him saying no-one has ever left and after everyone expressing how homophobic they are I felt they might guess I was gay by me leaving and the thought of them knowing was very scary by this time :tears: I stayed thoughout and when I left someone to my horror called me gay :frowning2: .This experience made me quite homophobic and so I was deppressed and hated myself....

    This site has really helped me see it is not wrong but a hell of alot of people at my school think it is :frowning2: For instance my Bi friend who is the only person at school i've told and is the only one I know who has accepted and is open about her sexuality was being picked on yesterday but I felt powerless to say being gay is OK as they would call me gay and I felt I couldent handle being picked on and now I feel really guilty...

    So I'm really kinda scared about it getting out in school but I also really want to be able to set up something like a GSA club to educate some people and help those who are scared but it would mean I'd have to leave my safe little closet and let people know i'm homosexual so I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice?
     
  2. AlexanderL

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    Sounds like you need a hug. (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

    I'm really sorry about the people at your school. The people at my school are the same way, so I know how it feels. About the whole GSA thing, it is called the Gay-Straight Alliance for a reason, you could just say you wanted to help your bi friend out or something like that. If you don't feel comfortable with that just tell people that it's more wrong to hate someone than to love someone of the same sex. That's kind-of the way I'm handling things at my school. No one thinks that I'm gay for it, they just think I'm a nice guy. Remember, you don't have to be gay to stand up for gays. :icon_wink
    Hope this helps!
     
  3. Just Adam

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    sex education is pointless and nobody can tell you how you feel or that your gith or wrong. youve nothing to feel bad about infact i would say pitty them homaphobes the world will always be small and dark to them hideing behind theyre macho exterior. be proud of who you are your sexuality is a small thing and dosent define you :grin:
     
  4. Revan

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    I wish I knew what to say, but your school sounds like it has the worst sex education I've ever heard....
     
  5. Katherine

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    Hang in there. My school's filled with people like that too, so I know how you feel. They're idiots, and you just need to recognize that, and be happy with who you are. :slight_smile:

    One thing to know is that you should come out only when YOU are ready. Don't feel like you have to rush yourself into it. Tell only the people you feel comfortable telling.

    :hug: I hope you feel better.

    (Oh and by the way, I like your avatar. :icon_bigg)
     
  6. Mickey

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    I have to agree with what others have said.(sorry guys!)
    Take your time. It's up to you when/if you decide to come out.
    A lot of us have been there and we know how hard this can be,especially around ignorant people. Believe it or not,there will come a day when you don't care who knows. This,too,takes time,but it'll happen,too. For now,just try to enjoy your life and ignore the idiots.(I know,easier said than done.) I wish you all the best,whatever you decide to do.
     
  7. Elven

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    Thankyou everyone! ^^ I feel alot better about things now(*hug*) I will come out to everyone when I feel comfortable :slight_smile: It wasnt actually our official sex-ed and it now turns out it was optional -_- not that they told us that :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: But yeh... I think I will leave the GSA thing for a while... Thankyou!!!

    (PS. I like your avatar too kaybee ^^)
     
  8. BasketCase

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    I thought a CoE school would be a bit more tolerant than a Catholic one but that experience is worse than anything I ever went through.
     
  9. Aww, I feel for you, man. I'm in kind of a similar situation. I'm still closeted, I'm out of the closet on the internet. I don't know what kind of advice to give you, really, but try to wait until you think you're ready to come out and try not to blow up at the homophobes. OH, and if your family is REALLY conservative, you might want to come out when you aren't living with them. That would be a good idea, I think. I hope this helps, you deserve to be happy and feel like a normal human being. We all do.
     
  10. Elven

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    Thankyou~ Chocolatebar it helps ^^ And this happend in secondry but we wernt told anything about, and didn't talk about gays in primary thats all :slight_smile: thanks!
     
    #10 Elven, May 11, 2009
    Last edited: May 11, 2009
  11. Rygirl

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    Hey I know exactly how you feel, my school sounds like a replica of yours except its an all girls school. I just decided that I didn't need my last years at school to be miserable, so I'm not going to come out there, but then again, you have a lot more school left than me. I would suggest that, if there is the slightest chance that people will be cool with you being gay and accept you, then you should think about coming out to them, it will strengthen your friendship because you've shown the confidence and trust in them to share who you are with them.
    But you should only do that if you're sure that you're comfortable with it, hell I know what you're going through, and it is not pretty, hang in there.
    Love and Hugs!
     
  12. Lexington

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    "What makes a man"? Even our school was beyond that...in 1985.

    Lex
     
  13. Alex19

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    what makes a man a man... hmmm... idk, a penis? lol