feeling alienated and lonely

Venting is good (*hug*) Anytime you need to vent, feel free to talk to me I love listening so much, i dunno why, i just like being the shoulder to cry on (so my shoulder is often very..very..wet..)

I know what you mean 150%

I have conflicting interests with all my friends, guys and girls. My guy friends would not know what moisturizer is if it hit them in the face going 200 miles and hour. Lets just say, they are the typical blue jeans and wife-beaters on the coach drinking beer watching football kind of guys. I am so so SO totally not that, not even a tiny bit or in any way shape or form that. My friends that are girls are better, as in they like to have conversation and share feelings, but still we are at an impass when it comes to having things in common. I like Musicals, Pop music, Romantic films, and Gay Shit. They are all SO mad at me when it comes to musicals. I really like them, but they are just furous because i like them *too* much, so ive given up musicals when im with my friends. Same thing with pop music. Im banned from picking music on car pools because i only listen to dance, techo, pop, ect. They all like the sad, depressing music that i hate. Romantic films they will watch, but all the girls i know are total "Oooo things just blew up" action move girls. So once again, conflicting. As for the gay shit, they dont share the interest but they seem to get a kick out of me being gay (almost like they would a bearded lady...).

So basically, Guy friends = polar opposite of me, Girl friends = hate everything i love.

Its not exactly friendships that you can play the song "We go together" as the theme...

BUUUUUUT!!!!

I think thats why we are friends, as weird as it seems. Its almost a "ying and yang" thing. I am so so so unlike all my friends, and they are so so so unlike me, but we still mesh well. I dont know were im going with this really, but i hope you get the point? You dont have to be like your friends to be friends. There is something to be said about different types of people.

Ok, well, im tierd and ive fucked up this whole message. I had it planned out what i was going to say but bleh i forget. Something about different = good...

Ill just end with (*hug*) I totally get what your saying.

 

Often it seems we can't find people who like what we like. I've had trouble finding other modern-rock-loving, cartoon-fans who are into indoor lacrosse. Even my partner's matches one out of three in that respect. But then again, I don't necessarily look for people who are exactly like me, or even a lot like me. Friends are people I mesh well with. I interact with them well, even if we have different interests. Because of that, we enjoy involving each other in our interests. I've taken several friends to concerts or to lacrosse games, and they often (but not always) enjoy them. But it works both ways. When they invite me to art exhibits or soccer matches, I go. And sometimes I have a fantastic time. And other times, I don't like it all that much. But I'm with people I like, and so I always have that.

You might give that a try. Tag along and watch the shooter games, and maybe give them a try (even if it means you'll die within 30 seconds). No, it won't be precisely what you want to do, but you'll be doing something with your friends, and maybe next time, invite them over to do something YOU like, and you think they might like.

Lex

 

I think we sometimes get wrapped up in what we think our friendships should look like, we don't actually appreciate the ones we have for what they are...

You obviously HAVE some friends. Don't worry about being able to relate to them perfectly, because as Lex has already said, we're ALL different. They very likely feel a little awkward too, because they know they aren't perhaps as artistic, or creative, or intellectual as you are. It goes both ways. But try to relax and not worry about the differences. Make the most of what you have in common. And when you're in high school, sometimes all you have in common is that you go to the same high school.

However, you can look forward to university or college. I found that once I was in a program that was of interest to me (in my case business) I was surrounded by people who had similar interests, goals, ambitions and abilities as me. And THOSE friends are the friends that I've kept over the years.

Growing up isn't easy. It's hard. Yet we all manage to do it. Don't worry too much about the future, or the past. Focus on today. Make the most of us. You don't ever need to be alone though - all of us other lonely and alienated gays and lesbians (and bisexuals!) are here for you!

 

Everyone gets down everyone once in a while. I find that actually “allowing” myself to feel crappy tends to make me feel better. Rent sad movies, watch some youtube about lonely puppies, or do whatever you need to to let yourself feel sad. It seems to work for me. And as for sucking at sports, your talking to the guy that broken 2 fingers trying to play football, got knocked out playing softball, and got a nice 3 inch gash trying to play soccer. I suck at sport and hate too so don't feel too alone.

:dry:

 

No - don't use alcohol to deal with your emotions and in order to feel comfortable. It eventually becomes your only coping mechanism - and in fact can become a problem in and of itself. Theres a time and a place. Ok?

Make the most of what you've got. It's not perfect, but it is what it is. While you can't relate to everything that's being discussed, at least you're involved in a discussion with others. The alternative would be not being involved.

 

i dunno what to say ... but i'm really moved with what you said polyamorous... what you wrote is exactly how i feel in these last two weeks and this isolation is killing me.. me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago and i started feeling that i am not important in anyones life...
my friends and i have very different views on life where all of them are straight.. i don't enjoy straight talks about girls i hate the sports they enjoy some are just too over obessed with anime and i'm not .. most week days i just stay at home surfing social networks where no one adds me or bothers to give me a reply... i just hope and pray that i won't live like this for rest of my life makes me misrable alot.. hope we can be friends and chat some time and relate on what we face in life..

 

I know exactly how you feel, I have felt that so many times before. Pretty much everything you have said I have experienced.

I don't really fit in with most of my friends either, I always think that they don't need me, and I wonder why they even like me or my company. I have bad social skills, I don't go out much, bearly talk to anyone unless I am buying something. Most of my friends love sport and talk about it, I like sport, but I hate participating. I too get jealous over my friends, they are always at parties, talking about people I don't know, talking all about sex and stuff.

I would love to talk about boyfriends, but I never have had one nor can I talk about. I love music and tonnes of movies, most of my friends have never heard of the stuff I listen to or watch. I am always criticising my personality, finding a fault where ever I can. Most of the time when I see my friends having fun I always think I do not know what to do or how to react.

But then I found some people who I could relate too, who shared and experienced similar events that I had. There I found that people cared about and valued me, people who love me for who I am, people I can be open too and then it made me realise what ever you may think, there is ALWAYS someone who cares, values and loves you.

 

hi, well i don't think there is anything wrong with feeling different from ure friends, a lot of my friends i don't have much in common with, and i hate it when u end up in some group conversation about girls and sport, then its a choice between feigning interest or finding somebody else to talk to, and mabye just try to get in with people that throw parties, i found once i was invited to one, i got invited to others then u can do the whole getting drunk and being more fun thing, but again in my experience i'm not always more fun, especially if i get too drunk.
I don't have a boyfriend and desperately want one, apart from on here, i know like no other gay guys, anyway my point is u'll be ok, ure not alone, other people feel the same, and if u ever wanna talk on ec or whatever then that is cool, guys movies and music are all good conversation topics btw!=)

 

omg your just like me i have friends but we aren't
really friends, i get the same feeling as you. i always
invited myself to gatherings and they talk about stuff
that i wasn't interested in. I tend to take thing serious
too while my friends joke around. just letting you know
your not alone