So heres the deal: Im at university and am now out as gay to most people, only problem is that I have developed my first crush............ and I am crushing big time. The guy is on the same course as me and is very pretty, only problem is i have never spoken to him before, ever. This is where the problems arise as, he may well be straight or be gay and not that into me. I have several friends in common with him, and from my "research" he is either gay or very comfortable in his sexuality. My reason for posting this is to ask what do I do? I have tried getting over him, but have also been imagining our relationship and it seems to not be going away. Although I have freinds in common with him, I don't want to tell them cos im scared of the fact that he is straight, and that I come across as pathetic. I thought about talking to him in class, but its now the beginign of summer and I'm facing 4 months of not seeing him let alone not being able to start a conversation with him. One option I have considered, is adding him on facebook, as I have friends in common with him. But part of me thinks that would be weird as I have never spoken to him, while I could leave him a witty and interseting comment explainig why I added a complete stranger, I have no idea what to say. I know this all sounds very pathertic but I feel the need to tell somone adn I ned help on what to do, please
How do you know he's straight? Consider this: Ask your friends about him, not in a "is he gay" way, but just ask about him in general. You could mention that you've seen him in class and you know that your friends hang out with him or whatever. If you say to your friends that you're totally crushing on him and that you're pining over him, then you'll look pathetic. If you just ask about his existence, you're a curious party. Otherwise, you're likely going to have to wait for four months to talk to him.
I'd say it'd be easier to start up a conversation with him in person than trying an end-around on facebook (where you'd still be stuck not really talking to him). You can certainly strike up a conversation with him. "Aren't you Fred? Hi, I'm AC. Mark told me your name. It's like I keep seeing you in passing, and it finally hit me 'OK, who IS that guy I keep seeing?'." Say it with a smile, and that should be your "in". Lex
Hi there! Lex hit it right on. Try talking with him. Start a conversation and take it from there. Let him know that you have friends in common. You might actually have the opportunity to do stuff together then. Adding him on facebook, doesn't really get you closer to getting to know him in person.
I'd agree, except if I read it right, the OP said he's not going to see this person for four months because of the summer break...
Pathetic, is not the word I'd use at all. Nervious, skittish but not Pathetic. You want that person you like to like you back and you're worried he dosen't. That is not Pathetic its being human.