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Could this work? (Long Distance Meeting)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Dare2bProud, May 13, 2009.

  1. Dare2bProud

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    I've always been skepticle of starting to a conversation with people online on dating sites from different states. I'm the type of guy that I would rather email or IM locally with knowing that your chances of meeting in person are very high. I guess I just don't like wasting my time with emails that don't have an end result if that makes sense? Its great to converse, don't get me wrong. Does anyone have any success stories with talking with someone online from a different state and actually meeting them? If so, how did you go about meeting?
     
  2. Lexington

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    I met this guy while playing online video games once. He seemed nice, so we'd chat a bit in the chat window while playing. Eventually he asked if I had a girlfriend, and I said "No - I'm gay." He said, "REALLY?!" I thought he was gonna cut contact, but instead he said, "Me too!" We chatted a bit more after that, and then started talking "privately". Finally, I got up the nerve to give him my phone number. He called, and soon we were spending upwards of several hours a day on the phone to each other. We lived about 2000 miles away, but he was determined that he wanted to come visit. I was a bit nervous about it, but I figured nothing ventured. He scraped together the money, and flew out to meet me for a weekend.

    How'd it go? Not bad. He's still here eleven years later. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  3. xequar

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    I'm afraid I have a number of almosts, but no true success stories. It's kinda tricky to arrange a meeting with someone in another state/provice/long way away because it inherently involves having a considerable amount of available time to drive.

    But here's something else to consider. Let's just theorize that you chat with, meet with, and fall for someone in another state. What then? I met my current boyfriend at a party we were both at, and we're very much in love. But, we're also 4.5 hours apart (Detroit and Chicago). This means that pretty much every weekend, one of us is in the car making the drive, and then during the week we're texting and longing for each other.

    But that's managable. I have a friend that lives in Atlanta that fell for someone from the Netherlands (and vice versa). But, you can imagine how far that's gone.

    I think your idea of chatting with more local-ish people is reasonably sound. A possible exception, though, could be in the case of a community with members all over the place that has members who host larger gatherings for members of the community. Something like a fetish community, with events like IML or a diaper house-party, or an anime community, with things like ACen, or other such communities, because members typically like to meet with others in a larger non-judgmental setting, can provide a venue to meet people that would otherwise be entirely too far away.
     
  4. VexTaylor

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    I definitely think that it is harder to get a relationship to work when you're not able to meet them in person, but it is definitely possible. I actually have a friend getting married to someone they met over the internet and they are very happy together.
     
  5. SirBoobalot

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    It's much harder, yes - but it's possible.
    My girlfriend lives in the Netherlands, I live in the UK. It takes either one of us an hour on the train, a few more hours on another train, and then a couple more hours driving to get to the other. But, we meet halfway, and it works. :slight_smile: It'd be much easier if I was with a girl who lived nearby - but this one is the one I want, and some pansy little sea isn't gonna get in our way. :wink:
     
  6. sdc91

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    Well, this isn't really dating but I found a guy at the university I'm going to next year who had similar interests and was in the major I was planning on doing. I talked to him for a few weeks, then when I flew out for admit weekend, I met him and went to class with him. I still talk to him every day. Who knows what'll happen.

    I guess my story doesn't really help because I was going to fly out to the school regardless of whether I met him or not.
     
  7. Dare2bProud

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    I guess this was answered for me tonight when I was chatting with this guy. I was excited about the prospect of having a buddy in a different state that getting together once or twice a month would make wanting to get together more special. He told me that living two hours away was unreasonable to hang out and that he didn't have time or the money. Why do I continue to be unlucky? If he would just meet me, maybe he would see that it was worth meeting each other half way or meeting up and it would make his time and money worth it. I guess he doesn't see it that way, glad I found that out now. :O(
     
  8. silas99

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    Wow lex...thats an amazing way to find someone!

    Although probably the minority rather than the majority. I always think that it's incredibly difficult to actually get to know someone on the net....but I guess if you're an internet junkie and you both have common interests and you know the person is genuinely who they say they are...then why not.