a little lonely

First post! Hi, everyone!

I'm 15 and I'm bisexual and I want to come out to my mum soon (by soon I actually mean maybe within the next year or two), even though I still haven't had my first kiss and it doesn't look like I will be having it anytime in the near future. I'm stuck in an all girls boarding school in England with the same people I've been with for four years and nothing's really changing. I don't know that many people out of school. I had a crush on one of the girls here and I told her a while back but she's straight, so nothing happened there. The thing is, I want to at least talk to some queer people in real life before I come out to my mum, but I don't know any at all. I'm in boarding school most of the time, and whenever I'm not at school, I'm back in Hong Kong, where I live, where there isn't really... a huge GLBT community that I know of, and I've never heard of any GLBT meetings in Hong Kong, especially not ones for GLBT teens (well I know of one for lesbians, but I'm pretty sure it's aimed more for adults, and I'm not a lesbian and I'm not really sure if they'll be bi-friendly, since... places seem to be more likely to be gay-friendly than bi-friendly), and I would really love to attend meetings like that. I really need to know that there are people in real life that I can talk to.

I'm really hoping that this winter there'll be another Pride in Hong Kong like there was last year (for the first time!), because then I might just drop by and check it out and maybe join in the fun~ But then I'm rather worried about doing that before I've come out. And the Christmas holidays seems a little far away at the moment. I'm spending two months in Hong Kong in the summer and I'm really hoping I'll manage to find /some/ kind of GLBT thing to attend during that time, since two months is a long time, but I have no idea how to go about finding that, and I also really want to join in a summer course/camp so that I can meet some more new people and widen up my social network, because otherwise I'm just going to be stuck with the same friends for the next... three years until I leave this boarding school.

I have little problem coming out to my friends (the friends whom I wanted to tell, I have already told-- the friends I think I should tell, I am working on at the moment, and probably am going to tell them before this school year ends), but I think I'm going to find it really hard to come out to my mum, since we've never really been that close, until recently when we started talking to each other more after she divorced my dad. I would consider telling my dad except I pretty much only see him twice a year and we're REALLY not that close, so I don't think he'd actually even care? But I wouldn't really know. I'm still only 15, of course, so there's no real hurry, although I would really love for more people to know, because I'm proud of it and I'm happy about it. It doesn't cause me that much angst, to be honest. I just... feel kind of lonely sometimes, with no one to talk to in real life who will really understand. And a lot of the people I know in real life are kind of homophobic/biphobic, so it's a bit difficult. But whatever. I'll cope!

Sorry that this post is kind of rambly and disjointed. I just needed to get that off my chest. There wouldn't happen to be any GLBT teens from Hong Kong on here, by any chance?

 

It doesn't, unfortunately! I'm thinking if I'm brave enough, when I get higher up in the school (probably in my last year?), I might talk to some teachers about the possibility of setting one up, or at least start some kind of promote awareness campaign, since I am getting so tired of the ignorance. My school isn't very big (around 500 people), so I'm always a bit worried that if I do set something up, no one else will come? Because I'm pretty sure most of the GLBT people at school are not out and are confused/anxious/etc., so they might be too scared to attend a GLBT meeting. But I'll worry about that in a year or two, since I'm not quite old enough to be able to set up a society at school myself and I'm not even out yet. It'll be interesting to see how things turn out! I'm hoping someone might even set one up before I get the chance to do it, but that might be a bit too optimistic.

Thank you! I was so happy to discover this forum, since everyone here seems so nice and helpful.

My school isn't exactly... not safe. I get the feeling that if I come out to everyone at school, people will probably be slightly disgusted but I don't think anyone will really be too hurtful about it. I know this partly because in my first year at school I told a couple of friends that I had a crush on a girl and somehow it spread around to lots of random people who were kind of freaked out but didn't make too much of a big deal about it, and everyone kind of forgot (or just stopped talking about it) after a year or two. So I'm pretty sure if I come out properly, the general reaction will be similar. In fact it might stop the ignorant/homophobic comments that people keep making (not directed at me) in my presence, which will make me a lot happier, because I'm sick of having to correct them everytime.

Still, I do think it's better for me to wait till I'm older (and have at least had my first kiss!) because that will at least stop some of the questions, because I think most of them still think that bisexuality is a phase, which it is not!, and if I come out now they'll probably just be like, "But you're only 15! You can't be sure yet!"

 

Thank you for the welcomes! I'm sure I will really enjoy myself here. It does feel really great to see so many other GLBT people, even if it's only on the Internet.

 

Thank you for the welcome and advice!

We're not really allowed out of school for long. We can go out to town with friends on Saturdays for a couple of hours, and on Sundays we're allowed out with our parents. I can't seem to find a youth group which meets up close to my school, but even if I did, I wouldn't really be able to find the right time to attend any meetings without... telling my mum first, or something, so that she can take me there? I've never been out on my own here in England.

It'll be easier if I could find a youth group in Hong Kong, because I'm always going out on my own in Hong Kong whenever I want and my mum doesn't really ask about where I'm going, so I'd be able to attend meetings without her knowing. But so far I'm having a lot of difficulty finding one. I swear, everything I find just seems to be aimed at adults.

But there's also the really weird thing that I'm... Chinese, but although I'm mostly fluent in Cantonese, I'm terrible when it comes to the more technical terms and slang words. So if I end up attending something in Hong Kong, I probably wouldn't understand what people were saying sometimes, which would result in some embarrassment. I was browsing some Chinese GLBT websites and it took me ages to work out what they were saying sometimes! Because apparently, (fun fact!), butch = TB (i.e. tomboy) and femme = TBG (tomboy's girl!) in Hong Kong. And people who aren't really butch or femme are known as 'pure'. I find it quite interesting and slightly funny how they've developed their own terms for these things.

I'm going to keep looking for more information and youth groups, etc. I hope I'll manage to find something.