Maybe "had" is the wrong pretense. If you chose to be in an open relationship, would you rather - want to know about who the person is talking to, or would you rather be left in the dark. Maybe some incite on my predicament can help you. Plus some feedback wouldn't hurt. So, 4/20 rolls around, and Kyle and I are still just friends. Although, we'd been fooling around and such. Well, one day he just says he wants me all to himself, I reciprocate with the same. We acknowledge that we're in a committed relationship. Things are fine and dandy up until about 2 fridays ago. We had a talk. I think he was twisting the words, or I just didn't want to hear what he had to say. To my understanding, he was trying to tell me we were moving too fast and that he wanted to make sure we didn't mess this up. He'd just gotten out of a relationship not too long ago (circa 2 weeks). So I agreed that that was the best decision. As the week goes on, he starts changing around me. I asked him if he still wanted to be with me. He said yes, but at the same time he didn't want to take the risk of cheating on me. Now his story is that he's not ready for a committed. Which is respectable. Keep in mind, we became best friends really fast. He wants to make sure that we stay best friends for as long as humanly possible. But at the rate he's going, I can't say for certain it will live up to the longevity he wants. I hesitantly agree to be in an open relationship with him. After thinking about it. My reasoning was that - We're still going to be attached at the hip. He's not forming legitimate relationships with whomever he talks to other than myself (whether or not they're aware of that. He'll of course use a condom. The other thing I though would be beneficial would be me knowing who he's talking to. Now he's started talking to a kid at my school (and then some... GRR). A kid I despise. He's a conniver, a snake, and most importantly, apathetic. And Kyle knows of my disdain for this kid. I don't know, it was easier to say I wanted to be aware until these people were in the picture. I feel like the answer, coming from an outsider's PoV would be to undoubtedly leave him. But it's really not that simple. Breaking it off, although an option, it's not going to end well. He said he'd be miserable if I just said bye and was out of his life, but I can't be friends with him. Not knowing that he's off, galavanting with other people. Someone I used to be intimate with. That wouldn't fly.
u seem to have very similar ideals for a relationship as i do. this coming from other posts of yours that ive read, but it seems like honesty, respect, love and faithfulness is what u value most in one. i think u should ask this kid if he does as well. i understand that just breaking it off would b devastating, but i think u should confront him on these matters and if he doesnt agree, give him an ultimatum. (one that u would make, naturally)
I don't know how I'd do with an open relationship. I believe I have the capability to love more than one person at a time, and I'm not at all opposed to things that aren't serial monogamy. But, I don't know how I'd handle the other half of it, having a partner that's also doing stuff. I guess you need to figure out what you want in a relationship, then converse with this person about what he wants in a relationship. If they don't jive, and there's no way to make them jive, then it might be best to move on.
open relationships have always hurt all my friends and there relationships so just becareful i hope it get better for you.
Um - I'm confused. You entered a "committed" relationship with Kyle on April 20th? Prior to that you were just 'fooling around'. Ok. Congrats. Then, "2 Fridays ago", which would be May 1st, he talks about being in an open relationship instead. So - you were in a committed relationship with Kyle for 10 days?!? And he's going to be really upset if you break up with him? Can you see how this seems a little odd to those reading? It sounds like he already HAS broken it off. I'd suggest you let him know that you're reverting back to being just friends that 'fool around' and leave it at that. Also let him know that it makes you feel bad seeing him with someone that you don't really care for.
as usual jim nails it this does make no sense and personally it would rip me apart inside to see someone i love with someone else then they come crawling back when theyve had their fun..... i would say he dont give a crap about your feelings and just wants more than what hes got its selfish and you deserve better you deserve someone commited to love you
Let me lay it out for you. He wants to be your friend. He wants to have sex with you when he wants. He wants to have sex with other people. I have no idea how he'll feel about you having sex with other people. My guess is - he ain't gonna be happy. You can take it or leave it. I'd leave it. Lex
Well i dated a guy 4 6yrs. then he broke it off cuz we had no conntection but whatev i'll find mr.Right just date the guy if you can stand him having sex with other ppl i would say no but thats u live your life not his , yours
As a person who has been in an open relationship, I believe that it all comes done to if you feel comfortable with th situation or not. Another thing is that you bothhave to want to be in an open relationship. if even one of you wants to have a monogamous relationship it's not going to work out. this is the reason my relationship didn't work out I wanted to be with only one guy but he wanted many.
trust me the open relationship never works, if he isnt ready for the commitment then back off a bit and stay friends let him figure himself out, i have been in a similar situation and it did not work out well, both of us realized that we didnt want the open relationship before it was to late and now we are working hard to rebuild what we had. dont push him it will only make him run even more, but be honest with him
