People who are out to everyone

I guess when I read someone's "out status" and it says, "out to everyone", I take that to mean they are no longer trying to hide their orientation rather than that they have announced their "gayness" to the whole world. Perhaps I am wrong.

I am not exactly out to "everyone", but I am out "completely". In other words, everyone that significantly matters to me knows. And then, the "rest of the world", in my opinion, does not really need me to tell them. If they ask, that's fine, I'll be honest. If they don't ask, they don't ask. I guess for most people, I don't talk about who I am attracted to. I don't say anything really when someone says "oh, he's cute" or something like that. I am not likely to say to a general acquaintance, "oh, she's really cute", but that's just not me and has nothing to do with being gay or not. Hope this makes sense.

 

I am not totally out - simply "not hiding"... so far my experience hasn't been good. My coming out was marked by my relationship with my family notoriously deteriorating. Regarding other people, my friends took it well and the rest, I sincerely don't care.

 

That's probably about right for me. Everyone important (family, friends, work colleagues etc) knows. For everyone else I don't hide it but don't mention it unless it's relevant or happens to come up in conversation. Most will figure it out for themselves sooner or later (there are enough clues).

 

In my previous-but-one job there were about 100 of us. I was there for about five years and I would guess that 20-30 of them knew and quite a few more suspected. I never hid it, and would still have said I was "out to all" at that time. Those who did not know were not people I was hiding it from, they were just people who I didn't have enough contact with for it to have come up in conversation.

I wouldn't introduce myself to someone as "I'm Paul from IT, I've come to sort out your email problem, and by the way I'm gay". It would be irrelevant to their email problem, and would be a distraction. However if we got chatting and I referred to my partner as "he", and they noticed, then fine.

Perhaps the same approach in school is right? You don't have to tell the whole school. Many probably don't really know who you are anyway so it is not relevant anyway. If your friends and those you have quite a lot of contact with know, and you don't hide it or lie to others, that's as far out as you need to be in school, at work or anywhere.

People should know you as a person before they need to know you are gay - otherwise you are only known as being "the bi guy in year 9" or whatever. There is much more to you than your sexuality, so knowing about your sexuality should be part of knowing you as a person.

 

My idea of it is that everyone who you feel needs to know, knows. the only people left for me to tell is my group of friends. really just this one girl. i know she'll be okay with it cause she said she supports gays as long as the gay girls don't hit on her. which i won't cause i know she's straight.

 

That is how it is for me too...I just don't hide who I am! I actually never did!!! If there are people who have a problem with it, they have yet to say anything to me. I wouldn't give them the chance anyway, because I would simply ignore them and walk away. I hope that you can come out, but only do it when you feel comfortable, safe and confident that nothing bad will happen to you...GOOD LUCK:eusa_clap (&&&) (*hug*)

____________________________________________________
PROMISE ME THAT YOU'LL GIVE FAITH A FIGHTING CHANCE
LEE ANN WOMACK

 

Then I think I'll have to change my out status to "out to everyone" (except my grandparents though)

 

your orientation is very cute, I really like it!!!

 

I found it on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homoflexible

 

Well, here's my story...

I came out to my good friends around late summer last year (I was going to be a senior). I kinda had a goal to be completely out by the end of senior year, which I guess I could say I succeeded in. So I basically came out to my close friends, and from there I told them they could tell anyone they wanted, aka people they know whom would take it well. Usually, they asked me before they told someone, other times they just told them. When people found out, most people didn't really treat me any differently. I mean, I guess I was pretty well known and respected around school, so I'm not sure if that made a difference or not. I was nominated homecoming king (lost to a damn football player lol), which shows how much people really cared, but I'm not sure how many people knew then because it was in the fall. I did hear from my cousin, who was in 10th grade, that when they were voting, he heard a girl in his class say about me, "don't vote for him, I heard he's gay." A 10th grader! I mean that was in like October, a month and a half after school started, and it already got to a random 10th grader whom I didn't know? Wow.

One problem I had with myself was not knowing who knew and who didn't know, and I guess I really wasn't as ready to be out as I thought I was. But as the year went on, it was gradually becoming easier for me. The more people that knew, the more people who talked about it, with me and with others. The friends who made it the easiest for me were the ones who would joke around about it all the time...like one would say, "so nick, does this shirt make me look hot?" or something like that. It made me ease up a lot faster. So at the end of the year, pretty much everyone in my senior class knew, and those who didn't were basically clueless. I made sure in the last remaining month of school that all of my close friends knew by actually talking to them about it. In the end, I am happy with how it turned out and it has made me a much stronger person.

If I had to make a pros/cons list of being completely out, I guess it would look something like this:

PROS:
-Able to be myself with everyone
-Most people were okay with it
-Develop stronger relationships with friends
-Gain respect from many peers and friends
-Gained support from friends

CONS:
-Lost touch with a couple acquaintances
-Wasn't able to personally come out to all of my friends, had to do it through the great tree vine
-Wish I would have done it earlier

 

It's a smart move to come out to everyone, I'll say that right off the bat.
There will be some people who won't like it, and honestly, being in high school, you'll get some harsh comments. But you'll find out who your real friends are. I find that people who accept me for being gay are also more open people overall, and easier to get along with anyway!
Best of luck coming out!<33

 

im out 2 everyone, ive been surprised at the reactions ive got the ppl hu i fught wud want 2 say thts the end of our friendship haven't my family had 2 get used 2 the idea tht i wudnt b having my own kids, wel not my own biological kids i am like u in the sense tht ppl know im gay when they meet me but i wer same clothes as everyone, theres nufin camp about me the only advice i wud give 2 u is dont tell every1 at once if some ppl dont like it then ull need ur friends for abit of support as losin friends can b hard and if family doesnt like it then its even harder so just tell afew ppl at a time let them settle into the fact tht ur gay then tell more ppl when u feel up2 it, ull feel way better when u do

 

Paul took the words right out of my... fingers, in his 2nd post, if someone mentions my partner, I correct them "Umm, its HE" most of the time I get "Oh, ok".

Not out to the whole world, most people here don't really care or find it a bit ridiculous when homos make sure eeeeverybody knows. I'm just out of my closet

 

In my case, "Out to Everyone" means that I have told all of the people that I feel should directly be told, meaning friends, family, immediate co-workers, and other people that I deem appropriate. The only real exception to that is my dad's family, but that's because I haven't seen any of them in at least two years now, and I didn't want to tell them when I first came out. But, at the next opportunity, they too will know (probably by meeting my boyfriend at the next family function). There are also a few other random people that I will tell, but I don't get to see them hardly ever. Otherwise, they would know already.

The other component of that is that I do not at all hide that I am gay. Just today, I was helping out in another area in my department at work, and the guy that runs that area was asking me about myself, and I didn't hesitate in mentioning that I had a boyfriend, even after he asked me about chasing girls (don't worry, it was perfectly ok in context). On Friday, my boyfriend and I are going on a riverboat cruise as part of a professional organization of which I am a member. Most of those people don't know I'm gay because I don't have direct cause to tell them normally, but I'm sure that if they haven't figured it out yet, they'll get it when I introduce my boyfriend.

Honestly, there's no reason to tell EVERY single person you meet. That's plain ridiculous IMO. But, being out and open to me means just that. I'm not ashamed of being gay, and I am open about it.

 

i always say that i am out to everyone

what i mean by that is....

if i have reached the point in a friendship or family relationship where to NOT tell someone that i am gay feels dishonest then i tell them

sometimes the lie of omision is a desrtuctive force in a friendship because it makes me feel distant and misunderstood... and a freindship cant survive that kind of thing

that doesnt mean that i need to tell all my casual friends that dont really know me, workmates, or wear a gay t shirt at the local mall when i hang out

it means that i am honest to everyone when i reach a level of intimacy with them that requires they know im gay to really know who i am

and it means i can take time to figure out if i trust them with the information... if i cant then i have no business being their friend anyway

hope that helps

 

Most of my friend's were like yours, they were totally cool about it, even though I did have two people who stopped talking to me. But if you're ready to come out to everyone, I'd say go ahead and do it.

 

In all honesty, people treat me very well.
I've only come across one homophobic incident directed at me, and it was quelled as soon as it started. My peers know me as an advocate for gay rights for what I do as far as Day of Silence and starting a GSA. I mean, I walked around to a thousand people asking for signatures on my DoS petition. I was completely out for all of sophomore year and half of freshman year. So I'd say it's going quite smoothly.

Even the negative experience wasn't all that awful. It occurred during my collecting signatures, and some douchebag decided he'd act all nice about it and say what a great thing I was doing. I handed him the petition and he just started writing "is gay" after everyone (about 5 guys and my name before I saw). I swiped it back as soon as I caught it and said "You wish, because no girl in her right mind would set foot near someone as immature as you."

Of course I was afraid, but the experience of being totally out really teach you not to be.

Good luck!