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Starcrossed...long distance, what do you think?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by RaeofLite, May 15, 2009.

  1. RaeofLite

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    (Help is appreciated here)
    I'm dating this sweet, pretty girl.

    We live far apart and have only been visiting each other every few weeks to a month. We met online and talked on the phone before I hopped a bus and went to visit her.

    I personally know I can't deal with long distance. I feel like a part of me is where she is and that it can't grow and that we can't experience things together. So there's been the talk of moving.

    One of us(I feel needs to move closer) if this relationship is going anywhere. I've talked to her about this. She told me to move to her, but I told her I have school, volunteer things, greater than average job, and other obligations here. She says she has a job and friends.. I really care about her, though I can't live with this distance between us. Do you think it's time to break up? :frowning2:

    Has anyone worked through this type of thing or? Should I call it quits and date someone who's physically available and lives an hour or less away or do you think it could work somehow?
     
    #1 RaeofLite, May 15, 2009
    Last edited: May 15, 2009
  2. Just Adam

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    my mate and his fiance have known each other for a year or so they live 5 hours apart by train they see each other every month or two they love each other and are very commited. if you really love each other i think despite the long distance you should stop thinking of the time apart and focus on how great it will be when you can hold her again. as far as moving well in my mates circumstance his fiance has familly up north but wants to move down here despite friends, as true friends will stay in touch and can visit and make your times together more fun make weekends of it. i dont see why a job should keep you away either all she need do is before she quits look at the jobs in your area and see what she can do and she may even be able to get more money where you are.

    if you two decide theres no give and you really cant take long distance i would say too break up as sad as it will be as you both deserve a relationship where you can be with someone it will save alot or heartache and sadness :slight_smile:

    take care :slight_smile:
     
  3. xequar

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    This is tough, and I feel for you.

    My boyfriend and I presently live 4.5 hours apart. Basically, every weekend, one of us is making the drive so we can be together. We're doing pretty well, and we've been together over six months now, but it's hard. It's really hard when we have to say goodbye, and it's really hard when something comes up and we don't get to see each other, and it's really hard communicating mostly by text.

    The thing we've both realized is that in order for us to take it further is that we have to be together. Driving every weekend is just killing us both. We're both looking for jobs in the hopes that one of us can make the move.

    I hate to say it, but if neither of you is willing to move, I don't see how you can make a relationship work. Even if you really really love each other, you have to ask yourself if you can handle the emotional strain of not being able to see each other often, the financial strain of going to visit each other, and the stress of wondering how each other is doing. I can't say what your answer will be, but if you can't handle a long-distance relationship, you might have to break it off, not only for your sake, but for hers too.
     
  4. Mirko

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    Hi there! If you care about her and she cares about you, I don't think you need necessarily to break up. I have a friend who has been in a long distance relationship for a few years now. It can work out. It requires a lot more work and perhaps even a lot more trust but if you two love each other and care about each other, it would be sad if you two would break it off.

    You both have commitments/obligations and live apart but that doesn't mean that it can't work out. You see each other from time to time, make these times special. As time goes on, some of yours and/or her commitments might become less making a move more likely.

    Do you have skype? like this, every time you talk with her, you would also see her. :slight_smile: Maybe look into that, if you wanted to.

    It's really up to you and what you feel would be best for you. Maybe think about/lay out all the options that you do have and take it from there.
     
    #4 Mirko, May 15, 2009
    Last edited: May 15, 2009