It's not that soon, for me it seems it is, but I have a date that I need to come out. It's going to be winter time, aiming for a week before my 18th birthday (Dec), since I can't messed up my adult life and hide anymore. So what is the best way possible in coming out. I don't want to do it in letter form, since it doesn't feel personal anymore (and I am perfectionist so I am going to worry about every word I write). I am confident now in who I am, which I wasn't six months ago. I am not afraid of what they say, since it doesn't matter really anymore. Anyone has suggestions? I don't think I'll be emotional about this, except saying it like a fact. Thanks
Hi there! It's great that you feel comfortable with yourself and ready to come out! Given your out status, maybe start with a good friend. Take him/her aside or invite him/her for a coffee and try to come out to that friend. Maybe start with that you have something important to tell him/her and then take it from there. After trying to come out to a friend and if you feel not comfortable with coming out in person you could try coming out via e-mail or AIM. As you come out more, the securer you might feel when coming out to your parents/family. Also, maybe try not to put a date by which you need to be out. Coming out is not a race and nor should it ever be. If by chance you don't come out by that date, you might be disappointed/angry with yourself. I think it would be good if you could avoid that kind of a situation. If you are ready to come out, try to think about which friend might be best to come out to. If you see a good opportunity to come out, maybe take that opportunity. As you start to come out, you will see how you feel. Good luck! Hope this helps a bit!
Setting an exact date and being inflexible about it might not be the best idea, you never know what could happen on that day - someone you want to tell might be sick, or in a bad mood, or something else could come up, and then your plans need redoing. Having a general time in which you want to do it can't hurt, though. Even if you don't want to come out via letter, I'd suggest composing something in letter form, or at least writing some points down. If you can draft out what you want to say and have an idea in your head of how it'll go, you'll be less likely to forget important things. Also, it's likely that even if you're not emotional about it, some other people (parents especially) might be, so you have to anticipate that. Good luck!
Hiya, I agree with the above and maybe start with a close friend... if this friend is at an age you think he/she should understand then you'll quickly find out if he/she is a true genuine friend and accepts you as being gay. Dont set a date either, you may find that the right chance to tell someone is tomorrow! good luck! x
Personally, my first coming outs were all 1-on-1 with good friends, if not best friends. It's really hard to do at first, but you just have to go headfirst into it and just say it, and then you can always discuss it and answer their questions As for my parents, I told them seperately (mom first) after having told most of my friends. I didn't really want to talk about it with them, I just blurted it out when we were alone and it went fine. Good luck
Thanks to my prior experience I think I have some suggestions. First don't do it through e-mail or AIM or MSN, I had a bad experience in which my "friend" copied and pasted my coming out to her in an e-mail and sent it through my school. Now there's a good chance you won't have to experience that hopefully if your friends are really trustworthy, but it's still better to do it in person. As for the parents, I wish I could give a good idea, but I came out and then had to put myself back in the closet so I can't really help you in that case. But just keep in mind my suggestion about coming out to your friends.
hmm i think the best way to comeout is just be straight forward and direct and just say: There's something i need to tell you... or- we've been friends for a while and i think you should know... and then just say it. I am gay. Or you could say, 'not-straight'. But whatever works for you. i have had good experiences when i have come out to 2 friends on msn, but then again, they are both really trustworthy people and i knew they would be cool with it. I guess at the time i just saw it as an easier option than facing them face to face. also, if possible, try to get them to bring it up (relationships, etc). im sure it would be easier. and a couple of drinks made it easier for me to say it. not sure if thats entirely great advice, some people say you have to think clearly, but it worked for me and you should do what youre comfortable with.
I have always come out in a one-on one conversation, either in real life or on MSN. It seemed easier to be able to directly reply to any questions the other parties might have. Doing your research before the first coming out and picking someone that you're sure will take it well is very important too. I don't really agree with the others that say you shouldn't set a date. Setting a date helped me immensely. Before coming out at home I even especially made a thread to make sure I wouldn't weasel out as I had so many times before. That's not to say that I wouldn't have changed my plans if circumstances called for it. But the knowledge that I would at least have had to explain myself did help immensely.
