Hi all i am new to this site,but could do with your input,my problem goes like this,I have been with my female partner for 10 years,she is occasionally bi,we have an open relationship which has always worked well,my partner also helped me come to terms with my own bisexuality which i thank her for,we also have a beautiful 9 year old girl,now all has been good until the last 2 years where i find myself more and more attracted to the opposite sex,,,i love my partner dearly but i am confused whether i love her more as a friend than i do sexually,i still find her attractive,but guys more so,then the other night we both went out to a bar and she saw how chilled out and happy i was,and saw me get off with a guy at the end of the eve and more to the point saw how comfortable i was,this has prompted her into thinking that sooner or later i am going to come out and go live with a guy,,we have talked about this and though this feels like something i would be cool with and find myself actively seeking mr right i am worried and also soo confused as i am worried about our child and not having everyday contact with her,,,,,i also dont know if i can bear leaving what is my soulmate,,,,,although she has said she always wants to stay in contact,,,,it feels like a very strange thing to wreck a relationship that has nothing really wrong with it,,,,,,or am i being selfish to my own needs,,,,,i dont want to be unfair to her or myself,,,,,i am sooooooo confused,,,,,,any advice :bang:
Welcome to EC! First off, before I dole out any advice, let me clarify something... all has been good until the last 2 years where i find myself more and more attracted to the opposite sex... I take it you mean the SAME sex? Or are you actually female, despite the fact that it says you're male below you're name there? Lex
oooooooops sorry lex,,,,,yes i meant same sex and yes i am male,,,,,,my head is spinning,,,,,,apologies
OK then. Now was that your first time hooking up with a guy in awhile? Or was it just one instance of several? Lex
more several lex,usually find my self playing sexually on what can at times be a daily basis,,,,but as of late and the other night ,,kissing a guy and getting off on it and feeling emotion is a concept thats new,i did keep my activity with men on a purely sexual level,but now it seems that something is or has changed.
How recent is this change? Where you really do feel an emotional pull? And is it one guy, or do you feel pulled in by guys generically? Lex
i have had two encounters when kissing a guy occurred over the last year,and the one this weekend,,,,all have had the same effect so generically most deffinately,and i find myself wanting to find that someone special.
Well, since this isn't just a feeling you've been nurturing for a couple days, and your partner seems totally cool with it, I'd say give it a go. That said, I wouldn't dive in head-first. Because right now, you're not in love with a guy. You're in love with a concept. And you can't walk around with your arm around an invisible boyfriend with a "insert guy here" sign on. You have to not only meet a guy, and sleep with a guy. You've gotta make sure you're compatible, make sure you mesh completely, and make sure you're both on the same page. Lex
