I'll try to make this as quick as possible. I've been talking with this guy for a few weeks now, and we REALLY seemed to just "click." I've never found someone that I've gotten along so well with before, so we've been planning on meeting in a few months. Well, the other night, I find out he's also talking with another guy and is planning on meeting him next month. I asked him about it...if whatever he told me is just a lie, and he denied it. He really did seem genuine about everything, and I mean we've talked on the phone for hours before, so I am really just confused about him. The whole thing is just making me feel really uneasy. Should I talk to him about it? I don't even know where to begin... Any ideas? Thanks
He told me about it. He even told me that they would probably be getting a little sexual together. It makes me feel very bad about myself, and I want to talk to him about it, but I don't know what to say. I really liked him so I'm feeling very disappointed.
Is this someone you met online? I've been having the same issue, i've been talking to a few guys online and we seem to have a lot in common. We would email back and forth and now some of my emails are going unanswered. It upsets me. I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong when communicating with someone. All I'm trying to do is to keep the convo going. I sometimes feel as if the internet is just a crazy meat market or race to see who can get the other first ... I don't know I'm kind of fed up with it. I was really looking forward to his emails everyday.
Yeah, I did connect with him from the internet. He still initiates conversation every day and says the same flirty things he would always say, but now I'm just like, "Hmm...is he saying the exact same thing to so-and-so?" I just sort of roll my eyes whenever he says something now because I can't tell if I should buy it or not.
Yeah. I've been very jaded on guys lately. In the last month i've been involved in a lot of broken communication and its annoying.
You know, it's possible he mentioned it to sort of "clear the air," as it were, to be honest with you so that you wouldn't find out later. I had met a guy online, and on our second date, he mentioned that he had been talking to someone else, as well. I don't know if that's the case here, but he might be telling you this to be honest with you and let you know that he is looking. I can't say, though.
Oh that so sucks... I'm sorry. I understand how you feel. The Internet definitely has its pitfalls in terms of meeting people--it's certainly not all bad but it's definitely not without complications. This is one of them--people don't seem to take flirting/relationship-building on it as seriously as they would if you had been "seeing" this person in real life. Not that people don't date multiple people at once in real life (although honestly I've never really figured out how that works, myself) but I think you'd be safer assuming if someone were devoting that much time/effort towards you in real life, it'd be more likely you were the only person with which they were making the effort. I don't think you should feel bad about yourself--it's not like you did anything wrong. You made an assumption and frankly I think it's a reasonable assumption to have made, especially if you haven't encountered this type of situation before. It just happened to be a wrong assumption--that you were the only person he was romantically/sexually interested in. The tricky part is what to do now. I'm not sure if you're exactly "being played" but you're definitely in a situation where his expectations and your expectations are not in the same place. I guess the only thing you can do is be honest with him and tell him you were totally floored by his revelation and that because he was the only person you were putting effort into getting to know that the same was true on his side. It's totally valid to feel disappointed and upset... the only thing is that it's quite possible he may not really "get" that. And therein lies some of the most difficult parts of a relationship--when the other person totally does not understand where you are coming from in feeling hurt/disappointed. On the positive side, if you want a hopeful story, I once met a boy who I really really liked and got involved with. He was in an open relationship with his boyfriend, though, and I said I wouldn't date him while he was involved with someone else because I wasn't going to be second fiddle to anyone. Relatively soon after he broke up with his boyfriend and we dated for quite a while. So sometimes the other person does actually wise up and realise sometimes quality is better than quantity.
I like what you had to say, very well put. I feel like I'm in the same situation myself. You are very wise!
He still hasn't met either of you in person, so I don't think he's bound by any sort of agreement to be exclusive to either of you. Once you meet in person, and once you see more of each other, I can expect that to happen, but not before. Lex
That's the extension of what I was saying earlier, and thank you for helping me complete a thought. I'm thinking that perhaps this guy's just coming out and admitting that he's got multiple prospects, and he feels that the OP should know that and be aware that there's a possibility of not being the final choice...
Thank you very much for this response. This is exactly the type of input and advice I'm looking for. I think I might talk to him about it, and I'll give you all an update
Edit: Aww damn, I meant to "edit" my original post and delete it. Sorry for the bump, just ignore it.
