OK, take a second and put yourself in my shoes. i want to know your opinion and please be honest, no matter how bad the opinion is. ok... There's this friend of mine. friends for life. ever since 3rd grade. then , he asks someone, behind your back, and asks that person, "is he(me) gay?" This friends suspects me, and for some reason, i don't want him knowing. I feel that if he knows, something bad will happen. And as for the interrogation, my friend ( the 1st person i came out to) told him that "i don't know. what do you think?" and he said: "i think so because when he was over, he gave off a weird vibe. he said weird stuff when on the computer" (i don't think i did?) so here's the question: Should i avoid him forever or tell him?
I too think you should tell him, because if not things will always be weird between the two of you. It also prevents any rumors and misunderstandings in the future. I hope that we helped, but PLEASE be careful and safe and do it with someone around who can offer some support!!! (&&&)
Well if your other friend knows, then you atleast have someone on your side! Use this to your advantage.
Well, you have already told 19 people. I'm sure that if he REALLY tried, he could find out too. Wouldn't it be better if he heard it from you?
Tell him. If he has a problem with it its HIS problem not yours. U never did anything to offend him, except be u. His problem
You say this guy has been your friend for life right? Those kind of friendships don't end because of something like that. Even if your worried he will reject you because past comments, peoples opinions of homosexuality change when they realize that it is someone close to them. They realize that someone they've liked their entie life is gay, and it dosen't change who the person they've alwyas liked is. Long stroy short, tell him. It'll be hard, but worth it.
Let's remember that there are many more options than those two. If I were you, I'd probably pretend that I didn't know he questions your sexuality and go on with life as usual. But I'm not saying this is the best action.
If he asks, tell him. If he doesn't, tell him when you feel the time is right. But don't hide it from him. If he's a good friend he will understand. If he hates you afterwards, then he didn't deserve you.
Everyone above has given pretty good advice and I second the thought of telling him. If he has been the friend you feel he has since the 3rd grade, he will be able to handle it and the longer you keep it from him the more damaging it could be when he finds out, especially if you are supposed to be such good friends and he is last to know you are gay. He will likely be angry about that because it bestows a high degree of mistrust of him and he will react to that and it will be negative believe me. Best to tell now and let the chips fall where they may.
In the book, "Fish! For Life" by Stephen Lundin, Ph.D., John Christensen, and Harry Paul, there is a quote: "Real conversations are the building blocks of relationships. Relationships are the cornerstones of life." If you are ready to tell him, have a real conversation about it, express that which you feel. Be there for him and listen to him as he begins to process this information.
