I'm...confused. There's this girl. She and I were kind of dating for a little bit (almost--we only went on one date and we never really got any further romantically than hand-holding). We're both very much alike in the fact that neither of us has ever been in a real relationship (homosexual or heterosexual) and are both very shy. But see, that's kind of the problem. Me being the incredibly innocent, timid, clueless (mostly about relationships) girl I am, I wouldn't know how to gather up enough courage to make any sort of first moves, like kissing or something (hell, I'd be terrified just to hug a girl romantically at all!). And she's almost as shy as I am, maybe a little less. The two of us had a conversation about that, but I'll spare you the huge amount of "Umm"s and stammering and awkward silences. Basically she told me that she wasn't so sure about this budding relationship anymore because we're both so shy that everything's kind of awkward sometimes and neither of us were really getting anywhere, and she thought it might be a better idea to just try to get some more relationship experience on our own, maybe with someone a little more dominant to complete the shyness. That was two days ago. Today she changed her mind. She told me she'd been thinking and said she was trying to work on being less timid and that she wanted to try again and try to be the more dominant one, that she wouldn't be afraid to make first moves anymore, if it was okay with me. But here's the thing. I don't know exactly how I feel anymore. During the first few days of our almost-relationship I was on Cloud 9, hanging on her every word and thinking about her nonstop. But after her spiel I started thinking about what she said, and I really began to agree with it. I've always pictured myself with the more experienced, more dominant type of girl. And while I do like this girl, so many things about her seem so...well, inexperienced. For starters, she's younger than me--almost a year and a half. And I've noticed that she seems to be incredibly indecisive. She gets crushes on people really easily, almost like she's desperately hoping each one might work out. I don't know. This is the first girl who's ever liked me this way, so I don't know if my previous feelings were just me being really surprised and flustered. Part of me is sayin she's just not right for me. Another part is saying that I'm just hugely overanalyzing the situation and I should just go for it, that I'll never get any experience if I don't date anyone, and what have I got to lose? Ugh...I'm just confused. Any thoughts?
I think you are overanalyzing the situation But that's OK, everyone does that! The fact she's quite a bit younger than you and seems to go from crush to crush could be problematic, honestly. Especially if you're looking for someone more confident. (Personally, I've never wanted someone older or more experienced, I prefer to learn with the other person, but that's just me.) However, at this point, I'd say to just go with the flow and see what happens. As you say, you've got nothing to lose. As long as you go in with reasonable expectations, I think you'll be fine. At worst it won't really work, but you'll have gained experience and that's what you're looking for, isn't it? Good luck
well, if she's going from crush to crush and is kinda wishy washy, maybe she isnt really ready, and if you dont feel like you like her, you probably shouldnt drag her along because that hurts more...its not your fault, just how things go sometimes. as for needing more experience and not knowing how to make the first move, is it really something that nags at you because you want to move farther or is it because you feel like it should be going farther? because if you're trying to start making out just because you feel like your "supposed" to do it, then you're not going to like it. although i'm just kinda assuming that's the case, on the other hand you might just need someone more dominant. either way, good luck!
