today I had the perfect moment every single gay person the world over looks for to tell their parents... and I went and fucking blew it. Me and my parents were watching the news and the headline came up that Scott Rennie had been voted to be allowed to stay as a minister (see my thread in Issues, Equality, etc) and my mother literally jumped up off the sofa and shouted YES! I was so happy to finally see how strongly my mother supports gay rights... and yet I still haven't worked up the courage to tell her that I'm gay. What the hell is wrong with me? I need to tell her, I owe it to her, but whenever I try to.. I chicken out. I don't even have the excuse that I don't know how she'll react - I know she'll be OK with it - more, she might even be glad, proud to have a gay son, but still, I can't do it. Help me, I need to tell her. Soon - this is driving me crazy. why can't I do it?!:icon_sad:
don't worry, i've had this with my parents before i came out!!! the moment will be waiting to tell her! just send her an e-mail/text/letter or even call her It's VERY HARD to tell her face to face, i chickened out, don't worry, i'm just as bad as you are at that!!!! i told my mum via a text, and then phoned her afterwards, yes, it was a bit tense, but she was fine with it. your parents might be a little dodgy with it at first, but it'll settle out i'm sure good luck, and DON'T PANIC!!!
Hi there! Try not to be too hard on yourself. It is okay for not having said anything yet. (*hug*) It seems that there is a part of you that still might not be ready for it. At times, and even though we know that our parents are going to be okay with it, and be supportive, we have fears and feel not ready to come out. You are about to let go of something that you have kept inside of you for some time. For many it is hard to come out in person, which is totally okay. Maybe write a letter instead. Writing the letter will give you the chance to organize your thoughts a bit. In the resource section you will find coming out letters that could give you some ideas as to how you could write your own letter. Writing it all out, could also help you in gaining the courage to come out in person, because then you know what it is that you want to say to your mum. Perhaps in overcoming some of your fears, keep reminding yourself of what you have witnessed. Keep telling yourself that 'my mum is very supportive, and she will accept me. I know that she will accept me.' I hope this helps!
Look, don’t beat yourself up. We always want our parents to be proud, but there is something inside you that says your mother might be a little disappointed when you come out. And why do you have to tell her soon? Is she going somewhere? If you find yourself really unable to tell her here is a trick I used when I had trouble coming out to people. Let your Mom know you want to talk to her by calling. Call her at work and tell her everything is okay but there is something you need to tell her after dinner tonight. This way you put yourself in a position where you can’t back out. Again don't beat yourself up, its tough coming out and there is no right/wrong way to go about it. (*hug*)
Thanks guys, I really don't know why I haven't told my parents - I'm completely out and open at school - and you have helped. I don't want to write a letter, I have to do this in person. It would be too impersonal and just.. not me. It would feel disrespectful to not tell her face to face - even more disrespectful than it feels to me to not tell her at all, which eats me up inside, knowing that I'm lying to someone I love. I'm going to do it tomorrow. God help me, I am. Thanks guys. I'm off to bed for another sleepless night. x edit: malachite, you posted while I was writing this.. My mum works from home, and I'm on exam leave at the moment, so we're both in the house pretty much all the time. She's not going anywhere, I'm just fed up with lying. I want to be myself - I need to be myself.
Well,I wish you all the best. I know it's a scary thing to do,especially to your parents. I agree with Malachite. Tell her you need to talk and then,talk! Remember,she's your mom and she loves you. Please,let us know how it goes. We care and we're here for you.
ok so, you know when you go to pull of a bandaid and when you do it fast it hurts slightly less than when you pull it off slowly? just blurt it out, scream it out! it doesn't matter because what it all boils down to is that she's your mother and she will always love you! but, it took me 17 years to be comfortable in my own skin, perhaps you need some more time to figure things out for yourself/become more comfortable with your homosexuality! i've learned lately, take what life gives you and embrace it because there isn't SHIT you can do to change it! <3
Good luck! It sounds like everything is going to be fine. Once you come out you will be relieved of alot of the anxiety and stress you feel right now.
Good luck for tomorrow. Take a deep breath and try going for it. I have the feeling that it is going to go well.
I didn't do it . I'd like to say I didn't get a chance, but that would be a lie; I chickened out of it. Oh well, I guess I can try again tomorrow, but no promises :S
Hi there! It is totally okay for not having been able to come out! (*hug*) With every try, you are coming one step closer in coming out to your parents.
It is always going to be hard to come out to one's parents so don't worry too much. Every day you will move closer to your goal, but don't make a habit of waiting on the side lines. Feel free to just jump in. It's also good to hear that you are in a supportive environment and have already told your friends. I'm not worried about you and I know you will come out. It is just a matter of time. . .
dont be annoyed with self. it take time, and it IS difficult. i was at the mardi gras with my best friend. it was a happy atmosphere. i knew he would be fine with it. he was telling me how cool gay people are. and asking me if people turn gay or are born it. we were having a deep and meaningful conversation one on one. i was even slightly tipsy for fucks sake. but guess what? i didnt tell him!!! i was really frustrated and told him next day over internet. good luck!!
