Ok, maybe this is just me, but i find this really difficult lol. After hvaing some friendship issues as a teenager i will admit i dont trust easily. I onyl have one real friend :S who i see like once a week. I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone from work given how they are. So is there some trick im missing?
A few things. * You're actually at an age where making friends can be rough. In school, you're forced to interact with people your own age, and it's somewhat easier to meet people your own age with interests similar to yours. After you graduate, that's taken away, and outside of work, you'll need to create the interactions yourself. * It's important to give people a chance. Maybe it's true that there isn't anybody at your work who would make a good friend. But you don't know that if you lump them all together as all being a certain way. There may be someone at work who WOULD make a good friend, but would you want him lumping you in with everybody at your work? Do at least try to talk to each of them a couple times, and if they then don't seem like good friend material, mentally cross them off the list. But singly, not all at once. * Your best bet is to increase your social activities. Put yourself in front of more people. Remain open to conversations. Chat a bit more - in grocery stores, restaurants, coffee shops. Look online to see if there's an activity you can get involved in. Bowling league? Biking club? Book club? Gay community group? In addition to getting you in front of more people, these will be people who share at least one interest with you, so you'll already have a bit of common ground. Lex
I know Twixy. And he always beats me to the punch. -.- Though I tend to follow the same advice. I keep moving every couple years so I lose all my friends, sadly.
Great words from Lex. I particularly agree on increasing social activities and just being a little more outgoing when you're out meeting people. It can be hard at first, but it gets a lot easier as you do it a little more. I would add that sometimes when you've had a bunch of bad experiences earlier in life, it's easy to find yourself being a little reserved and maybe protective about how you present yourself, and if you're doing that, it could make it a little harder to find good people. Ask your best friend how you "come off" when first meeting others... do you seem shy? guarded? over-anxious? None of the above? The more you know about how others perceive you, the more you can work on presenting yourself in a way that will encourage people to want to get to know you.
I know how hard it can be to open up if you've had bad experiences in the past concerning friends, the best thing you can do is get to know people, even if the people at work are not the type you want to be friends with, see if there is anything you can do outside of work to meet people. Once you get to know people you might end up liking them, and that is the first step to friendship.
Simple but true - and my Minister used it this past Sunday: To have a good friend you have to BE a good friend. I don't think there are any tricks to it. Obviously you need to meet people and interact with people to develop any kind of relationship. But you need to remember it isn't all about you. What's in it for them? What do you bring to the table? Make sure people can see what you offer them in a relationship.
Be friendly to EVERYONE!! Great advice ^ ^ I have had just this same problem. Ive never been very outgoing or never had many friends. I'm much better in one on one situations. Don't worry, there are plenty of introverts like you, you just have to find them! (or them find you ) And DONT JUDGE BY FIRST IMPRESSIONS! All 3 of my best friends i thought i didnt like when i first met them. But now we're best friends!! Give people the benefit of the doubt!! Social events/activities are great because you can actually be a part of something. Get involved! Take opportunities! While it is often difficult to approach and talk to people in everyday life, at events you can share the experiences, talk about your surroundings, and then it becomes easier to approach people at other times as you have established this connection. "Remember when-..." Use people's names, look them in the eye, smile, and act confident, even when you are not. FAKE IT. A lot of people do. And when you do often, it becomes more natural, you sort of convince yourself to be in that mood. BE INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE. This is how you become an interesting person. Be a good listener if youre not a good performer. These people need you. Ask questions of others, and remember what is happening in their lives. Note to self: Take own advice. It is easier said than done.
