Hi guys I'm gay, I know it, and I have known it for. . .well I can't remember how long. I'm pretty comfortable with it all but I have my doubts. I haven't come out to anyone but I rekon my sister knows and maybe a few friends. I'm too scared to come out. . .for various reasons and maybe this isn't a good time to come out. I'm not too troubled about still being in the closet and can probably live with it for a few more years but that isn't the only problem. . . Every now and then I come down with bouts of . . .well. . .depression. I can still get out of bed every morning and for the most part I feel fine and happy but just knowing I can get depressed gives my life a rather sour and dark undercurrent. They usually happen while I'm in bed (so I find myself crying to sleep). . .or when I'm left to brood over things. They are infrequent and I'm not too worried about them either. . .yet. I guess the fact that I'm posting this is reason enough to suggest I'm worried enough. That and it messes with my school work from time to time. Worried and Lost. Doreibo PS:First thread.
Well really don't be depress, it's perfectly normal to be gay, so don't think you're some otherworldly being. It's just rarer than being straight, but it's other there. If you're not completely ready individually and or environmentally then do not come out too soon. But don't waste your youth away and never come out and in fear. Fear is the only thing you have to look at, and once it is gone rejection or acceptance it is over. Its like taking a test, but once the test is over its over. So get it done when you are completely ready. Think of brighter things as well, and don't feel lost. There's information about this on the internet, and there's people to talk to as well. Whenever you feel like crying then cry, but don't dwell on it, and once you accept yourself and once your happier about being gay its all over with. You're going to be a happy person Good luck!
Oh, I might have given off the wrong impression. I'm fine with being gay and everything, I'm just depressed. . about. . .well to be honest I'm not quite sure. Maybe I should check it out with professionals. And I'm only scared about consequences like rejection and the unsuitability of my current environment. In addition to that I have found multiple sources of information dealing with homosexuality and I'm fine with it all. So in general I'm rather happy and my random bouts of depression and my homosexuality are fairly remote. But thank you very much for your comment. It is greatly appreciated and just knowing people care is heart warming.
Depression (intermittent, mild) is pretty common among people your age, and moreso among gay youth that are still closeted. The feelings you're having -- wondering about acceptance, consequences of rejection, etc -- are all part of the process of coming to realize that you're 'different' in a way from others, and most likely will work themselves out as you feel more comfortable about yourself. A lot of people describe the depression as coming from loneliness; knowing something about yourself that you haven't yet shared with anyone else, so no one else can truly understand or relate to what you're going through. Once you have someone that you know -- a friend or family member or whomever you choose -- to share your 'secret' with, you will feel a lot less alone, and probably less depressed. But that said, don't push yourself to do anything until you're ready to do it. There's plenty of time, and each person progresses at his or her own pace.
There's two forms of depression. There's circumstantial depression(things that happen,that make you depressed) and clinical depression(a chemical imbalance). I,myself,suffer from the latter. There are many medications out there that can help. Seeing a professional is a good idea. They can help to determine which you suffer from. Good luck,I wish you the best.
It's late at night so I haven't bothered to read the other replies but here's my 2cents. Depression is a really broad term and can have a lot of meanings. For one, there's always clinical depression which can vary from crippling to almost undetectable, but worst of all it can come and go without any consideration to what we may want or feel. This might be something to look at; start off with a counsellor (You should have access to free community social workers in Syd) and move on from there accordingly if it seems to be the case. Homosexuality and any other defining feature that separates someone from the "norm" can have some pretty big impacts on the way we see the world and interact with it. Being a gay teen in our current society can be quite a confusing life experience and the literal self acceptance of ones sexuality is just a small part of it (Unfortunately not for everyone). As I stated before, sexuality separates us definitively, and can as a result; have the potential to do so physically and emotionally as well. Loneliness and estrangement are the most prominent results from this separation and although we may be unaffected by them most of the time, there are times when we can't help but give in to them. It may be the fear of not being accepted by loved ones when/if you do decide to come out, the fear of how society will view you in comparison to how you want to be seen, romance and potential love etc etc. What I suggest is write out a list in your head or even better, on paper, of all the things in your life and in you that you would like to change, or perhaps even just improve on a bit. Perhaps coming out would be one of them, at least just to one person. Work on them slowly and at your own pace, try the concentrate on what you have achieved when you're feeling down and remember there's always tomorrow (And I understand how sometimes tomorrow may not seem a happy prospect, but every day has the potential to be life changing in an infinitely good way). Good luck!
Hi there and welcome to EC. I think many of us here have suffered with depression. I certainly did growing up, and could never put my finger on it at the time. But in hindsight, I think it was because I was different from my peers - and it wasn't obvious why at the time. I felt like an outsider. I didn't quite belong - and that did bring feelings of loneliness. So while you personally are OK with being gay, you aren't immune to the reactions of those around you. We all want to be accepted and to 'belong'. So perhaps it IS about being in the closet still. Even knowing that might help with the ongoing bouts of depression. Hang out here and get comfortable with yourself, and comfortable with the thought of other peple knowing. You'll get closer and closer to coming out.
I'm new to this site too.... just wanted you to know that you're not alone on the worried and lost front! Hang in there.
Thanks for all of the replies guys. It is great to know there are those who care and your advice is very insightful and much appreciated. Thanks again!
omg man, i often go through this, its random and subtle at first and then one day...bam totally hits me. I acquate it to lonliness. I have told all my friends and family and everyone is ok with it, but i think i just need that companion that ive always dreamed of, and having no experience makes things worse. So what i do is channel it into good things, like writing, or recently running is AMAZING, grab an ipod and hit random and let the tempo of the song control your pace, one you get a great workout and two its like an hour where you dont think of anything, its amazing, like meditating, and plus the natural endotphines in your body will help with the chemical isssues. Feel free to talk to me, if you rea my past posts you'll see how bad i was and how low i was at one point, but here i am giving advice lol.
Being a teen is no picnic, especially if you’re different. Things do get better! Not only is there life after High School. It’s a better life after High School. If you don’t feel you’re ready to come out then don’t. There is no rush. Believe me everyone feels insecure at times. Hopefully knowing you’re not alone here will help. Sometimes I wish someone could invent a gay finder, like what Prof. Xavier has at the X-Mansion, so that he could say these are all the straight people, and these are all the gay people. See, we’re not as alone as you think.
