ok so i just got back home a few weeks ago from college. In college i told people that i am bisexual. I felt really comfortable there and some friends back home knew. I live in the midwest with a bunch of hicks lol. So i just told a few of my cousins and they where really supportive. They only thing is i can not seem to tell my parents and my younger twin brothers. Even though I have known about myself for almost 20years know I still cant seem to tell them. I know this is one of the hardest things to do in my life. I think my mom might have a hint that im bisexual but im not sure. So im just looking for some advice on how to tell them. Thanks a million.
Hi there - and welcome to EC! Telling our parents is usually one of the hardest things we ever do. I agonized over it and I was in my mid 30s! Are you really looking for 'how to tell them'? Or are you really wondering how to get to the point where you're comfortable enough to tell them? Assuming the latter, the key is being really comfortable with the situation yourself. Really accept and come to terms with the fact that you're bisexual. It is what it is, and whether you tell your parents or not, you're still going to be bisexual. Whether they approve or not, you're still going to be bisexual. So then it's a matter of figuring out if now is a good time to tell them or not. Do you think you will feel better? If so, then go for it. If not, then perhaps you're not really ready, and it can wait. Assuming its the former - i.e. you just don't know how to bring it up... well some people here have written letters. Others have sent text messages or emails. Others have done it on the phone while intoxicated. Some while on road trips or just in the car going somewhere. The options are endless. For me, I simply sat down with them one night and told them that I had something I wanted to talk about. At that point, you're committed yourself to the conversation without just 'blurting out' that you're gay. You have their attention and they know something 'heavy' is coming. Often, when you tell them you're gay, it's a relief! They were likely worried that you were dieing or had joined a cult. Just hang out here and read the other 'coming out' threads to see what others have done. Again - welcome.
ya i would feel so much better if i told them and it would be off of my chest. im just trying to find a way to tell them. Thanks so much that really helped!
well i still haven't leaped that hurdle, mainly cos its a pretty huge one, so of course u r gunna be scared or whatever, they r ure family, u can choose ue friends, and make new friends, but u only have one family, from having read many stories on here a good method seems to be writing letters, that way u don't have to actually tell them face to face, and u can plan it out, and write it out coherently, that way u say everything u wanna say??i wud read the many stories on here if u want to know more bout methods of telling em, or talk to someone on here that has actually done it, anyway i hope it goes well!
i have been reading things on here for awhile now and it has showed me the outcomes which are great. I just dont know how i can do it and it keeps hurting on the inside and i dont want that anymore. im going to tell them with in the next few days. :tears: it just sucks:icon_sad:
im gona tell my family tomorrow. i will let all of you know how it goes. thanks also for becky even though i havent talked to her but i have read some of her post. i printed off the pamphlet our daughters and sons from pflag. hopefully this will help with my mom and dad. wish me luck:eusa_danc:eusa_clap(!):lol::smilewave
well i just told my mom and she is going back to work. OMG that was relieving and lots of tears. Im glad i told her and me and her are going to talk to my dad and bros tonight. She just kept on asking how do you know have you been with another guy( i lied about that question woops). She is still in shock and she is worried about me being made fun of. i gave her the book or whatever it is our daughters and sons but i still dont think it will work. but any way she said she still loves me and will be supportive. she doesnt want me to tell like her brothers and sister cuz they make fun of ppl like us but i told her if they ask i will tell them and she is worried about that for me. Im gona be another nervous reck later tonight. Im glad i told her and i feel so much better. ahhhhhhh i feel so relieved. :icon_bigg
i told my mom and it went better them i thought she has been trying so hard to be supportive and i am glad i told her
update: ok my mom isnt taking it very well. I should have listened to my friend cuz he has been through this already and i should have not told them in a letter. Ok i will tell you the whole story from the beginging. sorry for my grammar i dont feel like tying and correcting things right now. Ok so i called my mom to come home for lunch today. around 1030 adn she eats at 11 she got home at 11 or so. i told her i need to talk to her and to sit down. I handed her a paper i had written and a pamphletor book called our daughters and sons. Ok she reads it and doesnt say anything and then skimmms through the suggested reading i told her to read very fast like a few sec. then she starts asking questions and stuff. she still says that she loves me and stuff. o and we are both crying during this whole hour she is home for lunch. Ok so she leaves and i am able not to cry for awhole 2 hours before my dad gets home. then i wait for him to get out of the bathroom and i tell him i need to talk to you. this is at 3 in the afternoon. I gave him the same letter and book. after he is done reading it he starts to cry and makes me cry again. Ok he tells me to sit down now cuz i was standing lol. He ask quesitons and stuff and i tell him it wasnt my choice. if it was a choice i told him i wouldnt choose to be this way and stuff. my dad starts crying cuz he felt sorry for me for being mean about gays and stuff and i told him that it hurt me on the inside and i couldnt take it any longer. We are both balling our eyes out and me and my dad dont hardly ever cry. then my mom walks back in from being at work all day. she starts crying and gets mad and doesnt understand. and she thinks it is wrong and is disguested with this. and thinks its wrong and stuff. she even brought up the bible and we both dont go to church and she said it says in the bible and i asked her where and she didnt know and i said it doesnt say that. she just said it cuz ppl say it all the time. Then she brings up aids and stuff. and all that good shit. i told her how i felt aboutthis and she is still very well in denial!!!!!!!!!!! this whole convo goes on from about 3 to 630 at night. my mom then says i am embarrassed and doesnt want anyone to know. She asked who already knew and stuff, i told her. she got really mad and stuff. My bros come home from school and they where going out to eat for latin club. they are 16 and in highschool. they saw my mom crying and me and my dad. they knew something was up and left. when they came back home i gave them the letter and they where ok with it. i was really surprised with this i was so happy for them. they didnt understand y my mom and dad where so upset. o my bros both have gf play sports and very well known in school. i was also very well known in school as well but i didnt play sports. ok so lets get back on track lol. then my dad goes and ask my bros if they are gay or bi lol i thought that was funny. but ok once again back onto me. So my brothers gave me a hug and stuff. so i left to go hang out with my friends. i tell them this whole story as well. them my mother calls me and ask where im at and tells me not to tell anyone. i tell her i can tell anyone. then my mom then says why are you so PROUD. i told her its who i am. so i went home after hanging out with my friends. i told her im going to stay the night at my friends house and my dad told my mom to let me. so right now im at my friends house staying the night. o by the way my dads fam. is all catholic. and i come from a line of firemen. just so you know. i called my aunt and told her and she was 100% supportive and i toldher about my mom and stuff and how she was freaking out and she said she was goign to get me some books. She even said that she knows this isnt a choice which im so happy! and she sorta knew for awhile that i was different.my uncle calls my dad for some unknown reason and stuff and my dad told him cuz my dad had to telll someone and release his feelings which i dont blame him and he told my uncle (his bro) and my uncle said it was fine also and that i cant help but not be this way. I am really happy. ok so imgona go to bed and stuff. i did leave out some of the details well quite abit but i gave you the most important parts and some fam. info just so you know where i am coming from. ok so I have had a whole day of crying seriously and im gona go to bed. Thanks again everyone on here. I hope things will get better at home which i know they will. so good night. o im also going to put this in the coming out blog forum also.
WOW! Big steps right there! First off, congratulations. This is a really hard part of life and you must be very courageous to do so. I'm sorry that your mother hasn't taken it so well but I'm sure she will come around soon. She is in shock and she must be confused and kinda lost. Give her time and she will realise. I hope you are OK. I'm sure things can only get better from here. It is glad to here that most people are fine with it all and supportive. Good luck for the future and stay on your path.
Congratz on taking that step. It's a shame your mom didn't take it very well, but it sounds like your dad took it just fine so that's good. Having one parent with you will help with the other so much. It's also great that your aunt and uncle are with you on this, that will also help your mom I'm sure. I hope it all works itself out quickly!
You have some really supportive family members. That is GREAT! It sounds like your mom is having the toughest time. You know she's worried about you and reacting out of fear. She's worried about how people are going to treat you if they know and she's worried about HIV. One thing you need to do is tell your Mom right now that you will use protection always! If she wants to talk to another mother, you can PM me for my e-mail address. I will be happy to talk to her. Maybe you can talk your Dad into getting Mom to a PFLAG meeting. It will help! I'm glad you gave her the PFLAG brochure. I hope she sits down and reads it when she's got a clear head.
