I've had feelings for a friend of mine for some time now. The thing is, I cannot figure out for the life of me if she is interested in girls or not. I recall her telling me she's bi-curious and under her myspace it apparently says "Unsure" (or so peopel tell me, I don't know because I don't have one), but I've tried offhandedly asking her but she said "no". She does things like hold my hand in public a lot (though she is a very bubbly person). She's sat on my lap, hugs me for a very long time, has made grabs for my crotch :redface:. She also links arms a lot, used to do it almost constantly, says things like "I like it when you put your arm around me." and a time when I was standing on a curb, she put her arms around my neck, pulled me in closely, and just looked straight up at me. I got real flustered and just bonked her on her head with forehead :eusa_doh: . Despite being flustered a lot I do flirt back, although I do that with a lot of people I'm not attracted to jokingly. She's had boyfriends before and has said to me, "I know you're in love with me and jealous of him.". Also "If you were a boy I'd fall in love with you, but you are not and I am not a lesbian." While she's definitely not homophobic, I dont' want to make our friendship awkward by revealing my orientation or my feelings for her, but all these contradictions keep me guessing and is driving me nuts.:icon_eek: *Please excuse my odd sentence structure and run-on sentences, I'm never in the right frame of mind when I think about this stuff.* I'd also like to add, she's a sweet girl who wouldn't play with people's feelings and hurt them purposefully; I've known her a few years.
Sounds like it is time to have a discussion concerning all that you describe. You don't have to come out and tell her your orientation, but you need to clarify for yourself as well as her what her meaning is for all the flirtatious episodes and actual homosexual mannerisms and contact with you. At least you can inform her that it makes you uncomfortable as you don't know her actual intentions (and it does, regardless of your orientation) and if you could get some clarification on what her attitude or intentions are you could make the needed adjustments. (which would all be true yet you still do not have to reveal your orientation if you don't want to) But it would be best to get some sort of idea as to what she is doing instead of being in the dark as you are. All you need do is couch it in the terms of being confused or perplexed by her actions. Hope this might help.
I guess it makes me uncomfortable but at the same time I don't want that stuff to stop. I'm gonna try and see what all this stuff is about. Maybe if I mention it enough she'll catch on and if she is bi she might think I know and admit it? Meanwhile I'll continue linking arms and doing what I'm okay with to show that my suspicions aren't deterring me from her. Am I being crazy analytical? ? Thanks for the help by the way!
from what you say, she sounds like she is seriously flirting. they make it look so easy in the movies when someone just reaches in for a kiss and gets a response straight away. looks like one of you just has to make that move. bold i know.
I know how you feel when sometimes you are not sure of the message, all i can suggest is maybe step back when your head is clear and analyse your feelings and her responses only think about what has actually happened not what you think you would like to have happened, i know its hard but sometimes things in life need to looked at in black and white with no emotion involved. Decide on what is the message that she is giving to you then ask to talk to her about it, and I'm sure that whatever happens will be for the best. greg
I had the perfect opportunity to bring up the subject today. She was talking about a boy she thinks is cute but also thinks he might be gay and a female celebrity she likes to look at, but I was on the phone with her and my family was around so I couldn't really get into detail. :bang:
