Right, to be honest i dont actually care that im not seeing anyone, or havent done anything with any guys. It's more that i care that i dont care, if that makes sense. I'd rather be with someone i like, but theres no one like that on the horizon lol. And to be honest the only way ive reached out to other gay guys is via the internet, i dont drink so am not into the whole bar scene. So am not sure how to meet any nice guys lol Is it wierd im in a place where i dont care, or what?
Not at all. Its cool to take some time for yourself. I’m not big into the bar or club scene either. Explore your independence. Going out to the club scene you’ll probably only meet other people who are into the club scene, sure there is a chance you’ll meet someone like you, but this isn’t a romance novel. If you want talk to some people at school. Ask on the site some quiet places to meet people.
Much better to be content with not being with somebody, than it is to try to find somebody - ANYBODY - to fill the void. I know a few people like that, and it ain't pretty... Lex
I just made a big post related to this subject on the "virginity" thread which you might find worth reading, but I don't think there's anything wrong for waiting for the right person before plunging into a relationship simply for the purpose of being in a relationship. A lot of gay guys (actually, people in general) say that they can't be happy unless they are in a relationship. The reality is, those are people who aren't happy period because they haven't figured out how to love themselves, and they require someone else loving them in order to feel "whole." The paradox is, until you learn to love yourself and be reasonably happy by yourself, you can't really be happy or healthy in a relationship. So when you describe your situation, it actually sounds like you're ok with just waiting for the right situation to develop for a relationship... and honestly, that's the best place to be And... i've said this before but will say it again... very, very rarely will you find a "nice guy" at a club or bar. There are a few out there, but for the most part, the healthy guys who are relationship material generally don't spend a lot of time at bars or clubs. So the best bet is to look other places. Facebook and Myspace can be an interesting place to meet people IF you talk to them online for a while first, and get a feel of who they are, and of course be safe by meeting in a public place first. Social activity groups can also be good -- community sports teams, particularly if there's a gay league, or community service organizations, the local gay-lesbian center, that sort of thing.
I completely agree. It seems a lot of people will try to fill a hole they have by keeping or trying to keep a partner with them 90% of the time. I can't figure out the real need for that. As with a few of my friends, they don't go a day without someone attached to them. I'm content with being by myself right now. Been like that for a lot longer. When it comes to sex, that's different. Physical pleasure is one thing but real love, completely different. I'm actually hoping it stays that way because I can't afford to have a boy friend in this stage of my life. It'd be too distracting for me as well. I've received 3 offers within the past couple months, but I've rejected them all. I'd like to accept them some time, but right now I am trying not to. Schools more important right now. Besides, I have high standards. XD Or at least that's what I'm told. Must be neat or tidy looking Must be dominant or show offish, brash or rude (I like bully types, get along with them well too) Must be relatively masculine Must be doing something with their life and have ambitions Must be in school, just out of school, just about to enter school, and or have a steady job. Must be no younger than 2 years of my age or older than 7 years my age. Kinda high, I know. XD :roflmao:
Nothing wrong with how you're feeling - unless it's a self defense / sour grapes kind of mentality. "I don't have anyone in my life, but who needs people?!? I don't!" But I'd agree that it's better to not be seeing anyone than to be dating a loser just for the sake of dating someone. How to meet nice guys though? Well - it does need to go beyond the internet. And that means taking risks and going out on a limb of sorts. Are any of these guys you're chatting with local? If so, suggest having a coffee some time. There may be social groups or support groups for gays in your area. In Toronto there's a group called 'Out and Out' that organizes social events of all kinds - sports, card nights, dinner dances, hiking trips, etc. Getting invovled in something like that - rather than just going to a bar - will improve your odds of meeting someone decent and who's interested in something that you're interested in too! Good luck.
I would love to be in a relationship. But I dont want to be in one for all the wrong reasons. There is a gay scene in my area, but so far, it seems for the most part the gay scene is a much older crowd. I wish there were gay social clubs in my area that are for a younger crowd.
haha totally understand where u r coming from, cared sooooooooooooooo much but realized that 4 now there ain't much i can do, there isn't much point stressing bout finding a guy all the time, i guess it will happen when it happens!!
A. You type the same way as me, you sound like me. B. Your view/what you do is me. XD So no, I don't find it weird. Although I do find the similarities weird. XD Go figure?
